The (E)X Factor - Revisited

Exes come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe you have an ex-spouse (or perhaps more than one). You might have ex-significant others. You might even have ex-friends.

Some people think that exes are exes for a reason. But I have to say, since joining the single 30-something world, I've found other reasons to, at the very least, be civil with your ex. When you meet someone new, especially if he's someone you plan on dating, conversations about past relationships are almost inevitable.

If a guy avoids speaking about his ex at all, it makes me wonder. Is he over her? Does he feel guilty? What's he trying to hide? If he speaks about her too often, I wonder if he's constantly comparing me to her. How will I ever compete with the ghost of those memories? Then again, if all he does is complain about her, and how poorly she treated him, I wonder if he's gotten over his anger. If he hasn't - will he redirect that anger at me?

Don't get me wrong - I know we all have baggage. Some relationships are horrible, and there are exes who really were just not good people. I get that - I even have one (Pre-X). You should talk about those things; it's part of who you are.

Still, if a guy constantly talks about all the things his exes did wrong, and never about what he learned or how he grew from the relationship, I have to ask myself:

What awful things will he say about me when I become his ex?