Friday, December 29, 2017


It's been a while - as my friend Chuck Miller has pointed out more than once.

There's no real reason for my absence. Life is good - great, in fact. I guess I've just let writing and sharing get away from me.

I generally don't like to make "new year" resolutions. I know they work for many, but I am pretty bad at the follow through. For years I have tried to avoid the "eat better, exercise more" resolution trap. It always seems to unravel fast and I end up feeling like a failure, which discourages me to the point where I just stop, and so on and on and on.

But if I were to make resolutions... now would be the right time. So here are few things I may try for 2018:

  • Write more - blogs, journal entries, letters
  • Read more
  • Go somewhere new
  • Pray more

Now, if all goes well, you will read more from me next week! Until then - here's to a wonderful 2018!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Little things

I feel like I am constantly surrounded by negative. Whether it's from the news, or my social media feeds, or just inside my own head, there's so much that brings me down. Once the negative thoughts are in my head, it's very hard for me to break free. 

So I'm happy when I'm able to take some pleasure in appreciating the little things.
  • My office building lost power today - so I worked from home and took lunch at my pool. 
  • My friend just picked up his new puppy, who he has named Lionel Ritchie. How cute is that?!
  • I received a lovely text from my Little's mom the other day, thanking me for all I do (I really don't think I do very much, but it was very nice to hear). 
  • I am able to hide political posts, and have been doing so successfully - to the point where I got all the way through yesterday without knowing it was Donald Trump's birthday.
  • For every political thing my friends like or share, there are at least three wonderful stories from other friends - like this one.
  • I am going on vacation again with my favorite person - to a new ballpark!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Take out the trash

West Wing (one of my all-time favorites), Season 1, Episode 13 - "Take out the Trash Day." The staff is dealing with all the issues they want to mention in the last briefing on Friday night. Those items are always included in the weekend news-cycle - which is mostly ignored. Naturally, that's where you want to bury the news you're hoping no one will notice.

I've been thinking about about a lot of issues - some are fleeting thoughts, others are whole posts I've written but not hit "publish." Mostly, they are things that I want to say, but am (at least partially) hoping no one will notice.

But, there's no reason I can't have my own little take out the trash day (even if it is a Tuesday) where I
mention those things I kinda want to share - but maybe not really.

- The term "boss babe" is thrown around way too often. Yes, women can be their own boss. Most "boss babe" references are to women involved in direct marketing. Nothing wrong with a little flexibility and freedom to earn. Some women build wildly successful businesses. But if you're among the majority, earning a reasonable amount that allows you to stay home and keep kids out of day care - it by no means affords you the "financial independence" boss babes like to mention. For the record - if you can't afford your house or your health insurance on your own earnings - you are not financially independent.

- The term "mom boss" is annoying too. Why are moms the only women that might want a little extra cash, or flexibility, or discounts, or whatever?

- Those signs that say, "Your husband called - he said buy whatever you want," need to go. I know plenty of married women and not one of them asks permission before spending. Besides - are wives the only women you want buying what you're selling? Non-wives have money too.

- True - most people consider themselves open-minded. Also true - most people are not nearly as open-minded as they think. If you disagree with this post and I respond by condescending - I am not "open-minded." If I then un-friend or block you, I'm actually pretty close-minded. If I then go ahead and post separately about how I dislike people who can't handle disagreement - well, now I'm a hypocrite, too.

- Why do parents take to social media (or whatever outlet they may use) to complain about their kids? How ungrateful, or lazy, or irresponsible the kids behave. They're your kids - if they act that way, it's probably something they learned from you. The good news is, you still have time to teach them better.

OK, I think that's all the trash I have for today. Carry on....

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Compassionate liberalism

"All of us, regardless of party, should throw ourselves into that work – the joyous work of citizenship. Not just when there's an election, not just when our own narrow interest is at stake, but over the full span of a lifetime." Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States
This is my first, and probably last, political post - at least recently, and for a while. It's also not completely political.

I stopped having political conversations a while ago, even online. Most people don't agree with me, and seem uninterested in giving me a chance to explain. Even more seem to take it as an opportunity to condescend to me, explaining why I'm obviously wrong, as if my opinions are the product of a privileged background and an out-of-touch life. It mostly just leads to conflict, which I already have more than enough of in my life, so I try to stick to conversations about sports, TV, or my cat.

Much of what I believe politically is described as "liberal elitism." Since I had absolutely no idea what that means, I did what any self-respecting person would do - I asked Google. 
Liberal elite (also metropolitan elite in the United Kingdom) is a term used to describe politically left-leaning people, whose education had traditionally opened the doors to affluence and power and form a managerial elite.
Digging further, what I've found is that "liberal elites" seem to be people who come from well-educated backgrounds, which led to affluence and power, that dip their toes in the fountain of activism because it's the "cool" thing to do. They throw their money issues and get grants for mission trips to help the needy in other countries because it sounds better, and allows them to "help" while still ignoring realities in their own backyard. They police others behavior, lecturing on the importance of tolerance and inclusion and acceptance, all the while remaining intolerant of those who they lecture.

OK, so that's not cool.

I'm definitely liberal, though it's not a label I like to use, since my views are my own and are not defined by political agendas. I do come from a background of some privilege, and it did allow me access to a good, debt-free education, which could have led to a very lucrative career, had I made different choices. While I wouldn't call my current job "lucrative," I am certainly not underpaid, nor am I suffering. My spouse-less, child-less, house-less lifestyle allows for a lot of comfort. 

I suppose you could argue that I am "elite," though I have very little affluence, even less influence, and, like really no power at all. 

I do like to help - and I try not to offer based on race or nationality (or any other criteria such as gender, orientation, religion, or whatever). I try to offer both my money and time. I'm not trying to ignore reality, but a girl can't live through volunteerism alone, ya know? I try to keep it local, though sometimes a cause just grabs me. I also believe we are all a part of a larger community, and firmly believe that help anywhere helps to make the world a better place. 

I do believe in tolerance - but I believe it goes both ways. I have tried, and continue to try, to understand other people's point of view. I admittedly have a lot to learn, but I want to listen and understand, and not ignore realities outside of my own. 

I'd like to think my desire to help, to listen, to understand, to support, and to include is compassionate, and not elitist. I'd like to think that those who don't agree would start giving liberals like me the benefit of the doubt, before just assuming they know our thoughts and motivation. I'd also like to think that we could all step outside our own reality and look at how everyone is affected in different ways. I do not think lecturing helps, though I understand the impulse, and know I am guilty from time to time. 

I also don't think we can all continue to take in only one side of any issue, and expect that others will just find their way to agree with us "because we are right." "Right" looks different depending on where you stand. On many issues, there truly is no right or wrong answer. When there is, it still doesn't help to be right, if you don't understand how others got their answer. What good does it do to know better if you can't share what you know? 

Working together to make the world a better, richer, more understanding and supportive place can only help all of us. We may all be in different places, but we are all in this together.