Paying it forward

I enjoy volunteering, and working on fundraising efforts. Planning can be a little stressful, but it is very rewarding to see something come together, whether it be an event, a campaign, or whatever.

Which is why I enjoy supporting my friends in their fundraising efforts...because I get the reward without all the stress.

My friends Paige (who finally managed to talk me into starting my own Stella & Dot business - giving up one of her own best customers) and Abby are hosting Fashion Night Out - Albany on Thursday, September 12, from 7-10 PM at Taste in Albany.

This exciting night filled with fashion and fun is all to benefit the Alzheimer's Association of Northeastern New York. Tickets for Fashion Night Out are $50, or $75 for a VIP ticket, which gets you a little extra swag. Advanced tickets can be purchased at Albany Style. Come join us on the purple carpet!

From fashion to a 5K....

On Sunday, September 15, my friend Baking Suit invites everyone to participate in Run for Kohl 5K. Hosted by Mohawk Battalion on behalf of 1LT Jon Kohl, who was wounded in a helicopter crash while deployed in Afghanistan earlier this year. The race is being held in his honor, with proceeds benefiting the Wounded Warrior Project, a non-profit whose mission is to honor and empower wounded soldiers.

I'm not a runner, but I'll be helping somehow. First up - letting you all know how to get involved. Visit Run for Kohl for more information.


Do I have cool friends or what?

Welfare drug tests

I see pictures like this passed all over Facebook:

I didn't create this image, but I won't link to the page where it was found.
I searched Google Images.

I get it. People have to pass drug tests to qualify for certain jobs. Then they pay into a system that supports people who get money without having to jump through a similar hoop. Annoying, yes.

But I'm not sure mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients is the answer.

First of all, there's a big difference between a test required by the government to collect money to which a person is entitled, and one required by a private company to get a job to which that person is not entitled. Allowing the government that much control over our private lives is a little scary, I think.

Maybe this seems like the sort of intrusion that should be allowed - after all, you only have to take the test if you want the money. What scares me is the doors it opens to more intrusions, and how much of our privacy we surrender before it finally stops.

Welfare is a huge term that refers to a lot of programs. There are programs that are easily manipulated and taken advantage by a lot people. There are also people who have truly earned and need the entitlements. I'm not aware of a solution that can successfully distinguish between the two groups, and make sure the benefits are distributed fairly.

I don't condone taking advantage of the system. I believe that people should work, and take care of themselves, as long as they are able. However - I also believe that those who are able have some obligation to help those who are not. Some choose to give time and/or money to certain organizations, which is great. But at the very least, we all need to pay into some sort of system that helps everyone in need.

Speaking of those in need...when a mom or dad fails one of these mandatory welfare drug tests, what will happen to their children? That money was supposed to help feed and clothe and shelter them, too - and now it's gone.

Is the answer to take the children away from their home and parents? Won't making a child a ward of the state ultimately cost more than the welfare benefit would have in the first place? Won't threatening the breakup of the family discourage moms and dads from applying for much-needed assistance?

The system is most certainly broken. But we need a system to help those who need help - without discrimination - until they can help themselves. We may need to fix the system - but I'm not sure this is the fix we need.

Retail thanks

I keep seeing a lot of posts from people saying they will avoid shopping Thanksgiving Day sales because if they're shopping, someone is working, and if someone is working, that someone isn't with his or her family.

I get it; your family loves Thanksgiving. It's full of warmth and love and good food and laughter and football and family time. Yay. But not everyone feels the same. So before you judge big retailers or other shoppers, consider a few things. Such as...

• This isn't new. Just because certain retailers are open earlier this year than in years past doesn't mean they invented the concept. Have you ever run out of milk or napkins before putting the final touches on the big meal? I have - and boy was I thankful that the nearest grocery store was open. The sign on the door said they were closing at 3 so their employees could enjoy the holiday.
• Which brings up an interesting point. A lot of families eat early on Thanksgiving. Having worked in retail for a long time, I can tell you - they will go nuts tonight fixing things just so, allowing employees to arrive at work tomorrow at the very last second. If the store opens at 8 pm, those employees had time to enjoy a holiday that started at 9 am.
• You're forgetting why these people have these jobs in the first place - to earn money. Stores pay time-and-a-half on holidays; full-time employees will make double-time-and-a-half because they get paid for the holiday, too. That's like earning half a weeks pay check in one day. What would you do with that money this time of year? A lot of those employees are thankful for the chance to earn a little extra.
• The other employees? Those are college and high school students just thankful for a chance to escape their dysfunctional family on the most awkward and mind-numbingly boring night of the year. Trust me. I was one.
• Those retailers you're avoiding because of how they're treating their employees on this one day? Some of them treat their employees terribly all year long - and you're still giving them your money. Joke's on you.
• How about all those holidays that you don't celebrate, where someone is "stuck" working so you can be shopping?

I won't shop on Thanksgiving because I don't like crowds. I don't shop on Black Friday because when I left retail a million years ago, I vowed never to go back to a store on that day.

But if people want to spend their holiday shopping, I say have at it. Spending money supports the economy. It keeps people you're not even thinking about employed, with food on their table, heat in their homes, and kids with smiles on Christmas morning.

That's worth some thanks.

Thirty Days of Me: Day Thirty

The challenge for day thirty.... A photograph of yourself today and three good things that happened in the last thirty days.

The best thing that happened in the last thirty days was my birthday party. As a member of the Cornerstone Group, which handles all the fundraising for Girls Inc., I participated in a challenge to host a mini-fundraising event in July. I chose to host a charity birthday party.

Several of my friends donated items from their businesses, including:

Stella & Dot
Madison Handbags
Thirty One
Ambiance Florals & Events
Partylite
Avon
Mr. Subb

A lot of my friends joined together and helped me celebrate by coming to my party, and/or making a donation to Girls Inc. as their gift to me. Baking Suit helped me a ton, and deserves a lot of thanks, and credit, as does my friend who helped me get a food donation (She's got an in with the food broker).

What else happened this month?

I freaking love these shoes. Thanks again, Baking Suit.

Well, there was the actual birthday, which I spent with wonderful company. We went on a boat ride, had a wonderful dinner, and I got a nice surprise. I also got some fabulous presents from friends and family, in addition to the donations.

I went on vacation. I spent my vacation raising a bunch of money for Girls Inc. ($588 thankyouverymuch!), attending smAlbany (and being interviewed about the experience), and waking up to a play-doh breakfast prepared by my favorite two-year-old. I spent some time with my Little, and visited the Vanderbuilt Mansion in Hyde Park. I even had a milkshake from Dairy Queen!

It wasn't a romantic vacation on a beach in Mexico - and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

In the last 35 years, science has given us things like cell phones, digital music, and cloning.
But this stuff still smells as bad as it did in 1977. What the hell?

I'm skipping the photograph of myself. You've gotten plenty of those over the last 30 days, and the pictures from my vacation are much more fun to look at, anyway.

Cash, check, or charge

We've already talked about the fact that I went through a bad bout of depression earlier this year. We also talked about the fact that one of the ways I decided to bring myself back was through volunteering. One of the organizations I'm volunteering for now is Girls Inc. of the Greater Capital Region. 

Why Girls Inc.? Their mission is to "inspire girls to be strong, smart, and bold." I see that as being right in line with my own personal passion; empowering young (and older) women with a healthy self-esteem. I also have a passion for tolerance, compassion, and equality - and I believe tolerance of others begins with learning to accept yourself.  

So - I signed up to work at the after school program for the Schenectady Girls Inc. center in the fall. I also joined the Cornerstone Group - a group of individuals who plan and execute activities in support of Girls Inc. fundraising goals.

Our mission for summer 2012? To host our own mini-event, raising money for Girls Inc. Now I've never hosted a fundraising event before, and I'm not terribly comfortable asking people for money. But...July is my birth month. It occurred to me that if I threw myself a birthday party, some people might show up with gifts. So, why not throw the party, and ask those people to donate, in lieu of a gift?

So that's what I'm doing.

But, even if we're not so close that you'll be coming to the house to watch me blow out my candles - don't let that stop you! I have always said that I accept cash, check, or charge as gifts - and this year, that's absolutely true!

To make donating (aka gift-giving) easy for my friends and family, particularly those who can't do so in person, I've created a fundraising page at firstgiving.com. You can visit my page here, or click that nifty widget over to the right (--->). Donations at the site are secure, and go directly to Girls Inc.

I have to start by thanking Stella & Dot, Madison Handbags, Mr. Subb, PartyLite, Thirty One Gifts, and Ambiance Florals & Events for helping to get things started.


So, if you're passionate about kids, or women's causes, or youth services, or education, or community activism...or you're looking for a way to get on my good side....feel free to click and give. 

Help myself by helping others

So, like I said - it's up to you to help yourself out of a depression. Whether you do it by asking your friends for help, going to a counselor, changing your diet and exercise routine, or adjusting your medication - it all starts with you. No one else can make the decision that you're going to help yourself.

During my whole deep-depression, a fabulous friend suggested that one way to help myself was to help others. Get involved; volunteer.

I thought about it. Then I thought about it some more. The more I thought - the more sense it made. What I need is a distraction; something to take my mind off of how sad I am, and give me a new focus. I need something to keep me busy; a reason to drag myself out of bed (when work just doesn't cut it) and face the day - especially on days when that's the last thing I want to do.

Volunteering does all of those things. As an added bonus - while I'm helping myself, others will also benefit.

But where to volunteer? My friend, naturally, had a few suggestions there, too. "You'd make a good mentor," she said. Now - I don't see myself as a great role model, but she is not the first person who has said that to me. They couldn't have all just been trying to be nice (right?!), so I started thinking that maybe it makes sense. I contacted Big Brothers, Big Sisters - and had an interview and orientation last week. That doesn't guarantee I'll be a match - but I'm excited at the possibility.

[SN: They really need volunteers right now - Littles are on a waiting list. Just sayin'...]


I also contacted a couple of other organizations - Girls Inc. and Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood. Both have some very interesting volunteer opportunities. I've been through the required training at Planned Parenthood and start on my first volunteer assignment in a couple weeks. I'll be interviewing with Girls Inc. later this week.

Why these organizations? My time is precious...even when I'm trying to fill it up any way I can. I want to be very careful about donating time (and money) to organizations that support causes important to me. Empowering girls, and teaching them to be strong, confident women is very important to me. So is encouraging and advocating for proper healthcare, and teaching women (and men) to make informed choices about their health.

Those things are important to me - and these are causes I can proudly stand behind. In the meantime - I'll be so busy, I won't have time to think about being sad.

That's the goal, anyway.

Bail out

I am not any sort of financial expert. I get a headache when I balance my checkbook, I never took economics, and I failed the financial CPCU exam the first time. My point is, what follows shouldn't be viewed as a suggestion, or advice. I had a tough decision to make, but it was worth it to me, so I thought I'd share in case it might help someone else. 

Those Occupiers seem to be making an argument that we all need a bail out. I don't agree with them, and it's been suggested that is because I am "privileged" and don't understand where they're coming from. I'm a spoiled little rich kid who never wanted for anything, and now I'm selfish and I don't want to share.

Judgy, much?

Let me be clear - I am spoiled. That's not exactly breaking news. I am 37 in my mid-thirties, and I get better Birthday and Christmas presents from my father than most children. I wanted for very little as a kid, rarely heard the word no, and had an awful lot handed to me.

However, I was also taught that this was a privilege for people who worked hard, and who earned what they had. I was never taught to expect a handout. The minute my dad thought I was expecting too much - he put on the brakes, and told me to go get a job. I was 16, and I've not been unemployed for even a day since.

But that doesn't mean I don't have financial worries. No matter what anyone tells you, divorce is expensive. I didn't spend a lot to get divorced (because I didn't marry an asshat who went looking to make my life difficult), but it was hard adjusting the household budget (which didn't change all that much) to a single income.

Plus - I made some bad decisions. By that I mean I spent my way out of a depression. Retail therapy is actually a thing.

But while I was stimulating the economy, I was also racking up debt that I wasn't prepared to handle. When I finally snapped back to reality earlier this year, I was already in over my head.

But I didn't go looking for a bail out. I didn't beg for debt forgiveness, or occupy any grass near the capital, waiting for my government to pay for all those shoes. I bailed myself out, by cashing in a portion of my retirement.

It wasn't an easy decision. I've spent all this time building that fund, and cashing it in not only means the money won't be there for me in retirement, but I will have to pay a huge penalty for taking it out while I'm still working.

On the flip side, it's my money, and I worked hard to set it aside. Yes, it will be helpful in retirement - but I need the money now. Tax shelters and retirement savings are valuable - but putting an end to the stress I was under is priceless.

That sealed my decision, so I cashed in the fund, and paid off the debt that was crushing me. At the same time, I calculated my new monthly budget, to ensure this doesn't happen again.

Some might say that I'm "lucky" I was able to do that, and not everyone has the option to bail themselves out. To that, I say - bite me not true. I haven't been employed steadily for over 20 years because of "luck." In fact, for over two years now, I've been getting up every day and going to a job I hate, just to continue to earn a living.

I'm privileged and spoiled in a lot of ways. But a strong work ethic and a willingness to make a steady contribution to society? That's a privilege available to anyone.

Occupy this

I have to admit, I find this whole Occupy Wall Street movement completely confusing. It's not for lack of trying to understand - I've visited their web site, read articles and listened to interviews. So far, no one can explain the whole thing to me in a way that makes any sense. Everyone agrees they want "things to change," but no one seems sure exactly how or what those changes should be.

Some supporters say a defined goal isn't important; what's important is making people aware, getting them to think and talk about the movement. To an extent, that's probably true; I suppose they've done something right if I'm talking about it. But now that we're all talking - shouldn't there be a goal? Otherwise, won't the message just get lost in its own rhetoric? 

This country is definitely in a crisis. We all see it. The problem is, it seems like people are more interested in blame then they are solutions. That makes no sense. Are corporations wealthy? Yes. Are some people living well above the means of others? Sure. Are others struggling to make ends meet? Absolutely. 

But you can't blame one person's hardships on another's success. Banks and insurance companies and the like are in business to make a profit. The thing about a profit is - you can spend it however you want. It's not as if there's only so much money to be made - if you want a piece of that action, go get it. 

Sitting in a park and demanding that banks forgive debt, or businesses support welfare programs demonstrates a true lack of understanding. If debt is forgiven, we don't get to just reset to zero. The banks lose that money - if they lose that money on a global scale, what do you think happens? Foreign markets collapse, businesses go bankrupt and ultimately, who suffers? 

That 99% you keep talking about. We'll all be paying higher rates, getting laid off (bankrupt businesses mean fewer employers), and eventually, we'll all rely on government programs. But the government won't have any money - because the system collapsed. 

I suppose the argument is, if the rich were paying higher taxes, the programs would be better funded. But that's not how an economy works. I work for one of the wealthiest corporations in the world. My bosses haven't lost money in this economy, and they won't lose it in the proposed economy, either. Instead, the people who do the work (like me) have lost. No raises, higher healthcare costs, fewer benefits. If you raise their taxes, what do you think will happen? Do you honestly think the big-wigs at my company will take that hit? No - I will. 

But the movement seems okay with that. The corporate heads will stay rich, lower-income homes will have more government support, and middle-income homes like mine will suffer the most. I make just enough that I'll have to pay higher taxes to support the programs, but not enough that I can afford the hit. Everything I've worked for over the years will be lost, as I'm forced to now support others who aren't willing to make the effort.

So, Occupiers - if you want to fix the economy, why not try adding to it? Try looking at yourselves, figure out what you have to offer the world, and start doing it. 

Occupy your own wallet, and stay out of mine.

In Memory

Don't forget to remember.

Allergies suck

This was going to be yesterday's post, but since my allergies also (apparently) impaired my ability to tell the difference between "draft" and "publish" - you get a bonus today. 



I have several ideas for posts. Specifically, I have a couple more ideas about my ongoing, seemingly-endless drive towards better health. I'd also like to blog about Kim K, her wedding, and that ridiculous dress her mother wore. That would no doubt lead into a post about how celebrities give up their right to privacy when they sell their most intimate moments to the highest bidder.

I also have several movies I'd like to talk about, current events and causes.

But guess what? My eye hurts. That's right. My eye. It's red, and I think swollen from allergies. Which means no matter how many drops I put in, or how much medication I take - it's still red, because it's irritated. And that means looking at the computer hurts.

So while I lay here with my eyes closed - look at this adorable picture Cute~Ella sent me.

Source

Have you ever had one of those days? Weeks? How about months? Feel free to tell me about it in the comments.

I'm here for you.

Good cause, great blog

I'm wimping out on Follow Friday Fun this week. Bad week, and it would be tough to do a good job telling you about any of my favorites.

But, if you read the post from last week, you know one of my new favorite blogs is Say It Like You Eat It. If you didn't, then you should go read the post and check out the blog. Please and thank you.

Something not mentioned before is that the blogger is doing a lot of work to raise money for the Alzheimer's Association. Now, I'm not much for causes, so if you hear me talking about one, you can assume it's something I think warrants some extra attention.

Having known someone who was personally affected by Alzheimer's, I've seen what it does. It doesn't just affect the person with the disease - it affects their family as well. Not only does it affect a person's health, it affects their dignity and their self-respect. It robs everyone of the one thing we should never have to give up - time. I can't think of many causes more worthy than research and support against this awful disease.

The 2011 Capital Region Walk to End Alzheimer's will take place on Saturday, September 24, 2011. Paige from Say It Like You Eat It will be participating, and her team's goal is $1000. Visit her team page here.

You can donate by visiting Paige's personal page here. 

For more information about, and resources for living with, Alzheimer's Disease, visit the Alzheimer's Association website.