Sunday, October 11, 2020

Daily battle

I missed posting on #WorldMentalHealthDay because I was busy getting married. It was a picture-perfect day, and could easily shape this into a post about fighting through the bad times to get to the good times.

But even more important is how, even in the good times, mental health is a work in progress. Days before our celebration I was stressed about changes to COVID protocols, changes to our guest list, and work. Then, a storm hit and my power went out, stressing me even more.

Two days before my wedding, I was so anxious, I had to take an Alprazolam (on top of daily medication) just to relax. I slept all day and did not eat or drink a thing. My mood swung from happy, everything is fine to inconsolable anger and tears.

It was bad.

When you have an anxiety disorder, the smallest bump can seem like the tallest mountain. Your reactions barely make sense to you, never mind those around you.

Through counseling, prayer, and yes, medication, I definitely handle it better than I once did. But it's a daily battle, and one I know I can't - and shouldn't - do alone.

It'd be so easy to avoid stress. No stress, no anxiety. But, no stress also means no change, no growth, no unbelievably happy moments filled with indescribable joy.

That's no way to live.

If you're going through a tough time, don't get down on yourself. The stress just means you're growing, learning, and headed toward something better. While you're going through it, look around. Those people by your side? Those are your people.

They'll help get you through.