Random Friday thoughts

I have a bunch of thoughts in my head, but I can't seem to complete a post. Friday Fill-ins had nothing new for me today, so you're getting a stream of consciousness. 

» Still avoiding the publish button on those drafts I wrote earlier this week. They may go up next week, simply because I can't stand having unfinished business. If people get upset - eh. Haters gonna hate, I s'pose.

» Joe is on an anti-biotic. Have you ever tried giving a cat a liquid medication using an oral syringe? Good times.

» My hair has officially gotten too long, and I'm four weeks away from next appointment.

» Large vet bills mean I have less money, which makes me hyper-aware of every dollar I spend. I'm currently in a no-spending mode, which is why I'm particularly happy that the Alive at Five concert series starts soon. Free is right within my budget.

» Pasta dishes are a great way to lower the grocery bill, but if I'm going to be eating more pasta, I should probably make at least some of it whole grain. Not all - that's just crazy talk.

» I'm volunteering on Sunday for Upper Hudson Planned Parenthood, running their public info table at Tulip Fest in the afternoon. The public info section is behind the kids zone, between the amphitheatre seating and the playground. Stop by and say hello. We give out free stuff.

Here's a picture of Shemar Moore from his Facebook page. You're welcome.

If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is.

A good day for hot chocolate

It's April...but you'd never know it by standing outside. Yes, April in New York is often rainy and sometimes a little gloomy - but it should be warmer than 33 degrees.

I was checking out Rags to Stitches this morning. I'm always a little bummed that I can't view the video at work. As I write this, I don't know what Alissa tells us during her coffee date - but I figured I'd share the link, and what I'd say if we were having coffee (hot chocoate for me) today.

- I spent a little more than I meant to at Sephora yesterday. They were having a VIB Event (for reward card holders), so I had a coupon. Spending a certain amount got you a free tote with samples. I usually spend "a certain amount" in Sephora anyway...and yesterday was no exception.

- Last weekend was rough for me. Too much going on, and I had people coming at me from all kinds of directions. I'm hoping this weekend will be a little more boring.

- The Cornerstone Group is in the home-stretch of putting together this year's auction. It looks like it will be a really fun time, and for a really good cause! We'd love to see you there. (Follow this link if you'd like to purchase a ticket or donate to Girls Incorporated of the Greater Capital Region.)

- Speaking of, I need an outfit. Choosing a wardrobe this time of year is such a challenge. The calendar says we should be able to wear lighter clothes (both in color and fabric). The aforementioned temps, however, suggest I should be bundled up in wool.

- Whatever I do, my shoes won't be white. No worries.

- I was going to tell you about my current pet peeves - but then I realized one of them was people who whine and complain, and that's exactly what I'd be doing.

- So I'll just tell you that sometimes people bug me, just a little. Another reason why this weekend needs to be boring.

Happy Friday!

I never lol

I communicate with a lot of people every day. Most of that communication is done in written form, whether it be text messages, emails, facebook messages or comments, tweets, whatever.

I spend most of my day reading - either these messages, or blog posts, profiles, or (if I'm actually working while I'm at work) contracts, letters, etc.

I consider myself a tech-enthusiast. I like technology, maybe more than some people in my age-bracket. Certainly more than some of the people with whom I'm communicating, since many of them are more old-school (read: older).

Many of them would still prefer a phone call or sit-down meeting. They have only entered the world of text out of fear they might be left behind. I, on the other hand, text, tweet, post, link, blog, and pin with the best of 'em.

What I don't do is talk in shorthand. I don't lol, idk, brb, or spell the word "right" as "rite." If I use you're instead of your, it's an honest mistake, and not because I don't know better.

Nothing chips away at a person's credibility with me faster than when he speaks in shorthand, uses lol to punctuate sentences, or doesn't know that an apostrophe makes a word possessive (except when it doesn't).

Sure, I get that technology makes a lot of this more acceptable. Save a character, or a keystroke! It shows you're on-trend. It suggests you can keep up with the conversation, no matter how quickly it's evolving or how "old-school" you might be.

But to me, that's a double-edged sword. In this techie culture, most first impressions are made through words read on a screen. Isn't it better for that impression to be that you care about your image, and how you present yourself? Don't you want people to know you're smart enough to know better, and care enough to take the time?

The way we present our message has become the new perfect outfit. It shows our style, our form, our image, and how we would represent our friends, family, and coworkers.

Lol is the text equivalent to wearing pajama bottoms when you go to the store. Just because other people do it doesn't make it OK.

Friday Fill-In Fun

This blog has my back when I can't come up with a fun Friday post...

1. Paisley is not my thing.


2. Court is Crafty made me a hat - with bling!

3. Where is the weekend already?!

4. That was the end?!

5. Sometimes, less is really just less.

6. Give me horseradish mustard over Grey Poupon any day.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner, tomorrow my plans include New York in Bloom, and Sunday, I want to eat and watch the Daytona 500 and then the Oscar Red Carpet (uninterrupted!).

I'll admit...

...that I got this idea from Baking Suit

...that I have two posts that have been sitting in draft-stage for weeks, because I keep getting distracted.

...that I probably don't need any more shoes.

...that I'd love to resign from my job, but I'm very attached to the quality of life the salary affords.

...that I should be more careful with my money.

...that I sometimes give in to feelings when I shouldn't.

...that some of my best stories are born from bad ideas.

...that I sometimes know something is a bad idea, but might do it anyway.

...that I can (almost) always handle the consequences when that happens.

...that sometimes, I really don't like when friends offer opinions or advice.

...that I sometimes just want to stay home, eat unhealthy food, and watch stupid TV.

...that sometimes I wish I was the sort of person who could just unplug - but that's just not me.

...that there are some things even I won't admit here.

...that sometimes it feels good to admit things - so feel free to do so below.

Fast food for lunch

Sometimes I eat fast food for lunch. By "fast" I mean food that comes from a building with a drive-thru attached. I don't consider things like Panera or Chipotle (or Moe's, which I prefer) fast food.

The only fast food I really "like" is Taco Bell. I say like that way because it's not my favorite way to eat what passes for Mexican/Southwest Style food. I'd much rather go somewhere a little more authentic, or - brace yourself - even prepare something at home.

But sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with lousy parking or lunch-time crowds. Sometimes I'm wearing heels and there's no way I can risk having to walk what will feel like a mile to get food. Taco Bell is also the only place I can get Baja Blast Mountain Dew. It's also slightly less expensive than some other places.

Convenience and price are my major incentives, but of course, there is that whole I-want-to-live-longer-so-I'm-trying-to-stay-healthy bit. When I started counting calories, I had to cut down the number of times per week I allowed myself the convenience of a fast-food lunch.

Notice I didn't say eliminate; I still eat fast-food from time to time. I look up the nutritional information online and track the calories the way I would for any other meal. It just so happens that when I eat a fast-food lunch, I don't each much else for the rest of the day (and/or I make sure I can hit the gym after work).

You see - it's not all about convenience or price for me. I'm an emotional eater, too, and when I have a bad day/week/month, sometimes junk food makes me feel better. Not healthy, not normal, but whatever. Some people drink alcohol; I eat sugar and salt. It's definitely a vice, but I like to think I have many other fine qualities.

Since I'm having a spectacularly crap-tastic week, I decided to have junk for lunch today. It doesn't make me sick the way it does for some people. In fact, the only food that ever makes me sick? Vegetables. Go figure.

What could be so bad that a person needs to drown the sorrow in sodium, chemicals, and over-processed food that barely passes as meat? I'm glad you asked.

***Please note: The rest of this post is really just me whining. I don't expect to have anything productive or helpful to say, or lessons to teach. Feel free to stop reading. ***

* I'm sick. I believe I have a sinus infection. I'm not a doctor, but I do know my body. Twice a year (spring and fall) my allergies kick into over-drive. The congestion usually turns into bronchitis. Last spring it was an ear infection. Last fall? My eye got so swollen that it became infected from natural bacteria on my eyelid. I got a staph infection from my own body.

More than once, this bi-annual infection has manifested itself as a sinus infection. The swelling on the side of my nose, and the fact that it's red and warm tells me there some inflammation. The slight feaver and fatigue suggest an infection. Since my ears and chest are fine, and neither eye is bright red, I'm thinking sinus infection.

* So go to the doctor! (You might say.) I'd freakin' love to. But my doctor can't be bothered to see me on an urgent basis. Or, her version of urgent and mine aren't in sync. Since this is the second time that the office's limited hours and resources has forced me into the hands of urgent care, I'm in the process of finding a new doctor. In the meantime, I might need treatment before I can get an appointment. My urgent care copay is $150; it's only $25 for a doctor visit. I can think of a lot of ways I'd rather spend that $125.

Either way, I'll suffer through the rest of today. Urgent care will be there if I need them. I have a hair appointment after work - I've never been sick enough to miss a hair appointment.

* Did I mention that now I have to look for a new doctor? I hate paperwork. It stresses me out.

* Work has been driving me absolutely bonkers for the last week. I inherited a bunch of clients last spring, which has shifted my book and made 10/1 almost as busy a renewal date as 1/1. That makes September almost as miserable as December. Rush projects, last minute changes, tons of meetings - all while keeping up with the day-to-day stuff. It's a real bummer.

* Personal life. I have one. It's stressing me out right now. I dislike changes and I dislike uncertainty even more. I'm also pretty bad at commitment.

* One of my personal email accounts was hacked. Some person in Venezuela used my email to send some sort of link to a bunch of my friends. I don't know what the link was; I'm guessing some silly ad. It was annoying inconvenience, just not something I felt like dealing with this week.

I think that's all I have to share. Yes I realize I have it better than most people. My problems are nothing compared to what some have going on. I realize I'm lucky and blessed. Believe me when I say that not a day goes by that I don't remember to thank God for what's good in my life.

One of those good things is that I can eat comfort food, and as long as I track the calories, I don't have to feel too guilty.

Another is that I knew enough to create my own little corner of the internet, where I can cry if I want.

The gym - random observations

I've been to the gym every night this week. The enormous amount of pain I feel is (slightly) balanced by the slightly-smaller feeling of accomplishment. Life is about balance, I suppose.

Some random observations from My Week at the Gym.

- Putting a gym right next door to a pizza place is bad planning - or cruel. Maybe both.

- I am neither a business person nor a real estate expert, but I found at least three places between the gym and my house that would be perfect for a sushi restaurant.

- That said - I actually found a very good sushi place very close to my house, that also does take-out and delivery. I can't even begin to describe my excitement. [This is sort of tangential to the gym observations. I stopped there on the way home from the gym, so I included it here.]

- I find it annoying that people sit on a machine, without using it, particularly when I'm waiting.

- Only slightly less annoying is when people use a machine incorrectly. C'mon - if I can figure out the right way to do the exercise, anyone can.

- I'm hoping by November my hair is long enough that I'll be able to clip all of it back.

- The hair clip I got in Target's $1 section is awe-some.

- Women need the calf press more than men, and should get precedence for that machine. I have to wear heels; you don't.

- Just because I'm looking at the TV that's in your direction doesn't mean I'm checking you out. Get over yourself.

- The absolute last thing on my mind when I'm at the gym is making new friends. I'm so miserable, I barely want the friends I already have.

- Don't wear skin tight pants and a cleavage-enhancing tank top, and then pretend you didn't want those guys staring at you. We all know better. [Not saying anyone is wrong for liking attention, just for not owning how they really feel.]

- I feel going to the gym is largely a waste of time, with very little return. However, being at the gym the other night meant I avoided a close encounter of the skunk-kind. It's the little things.

Hello, my name is...

"Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be." Sex and the City

In the car yesterday afternoon, I was thinking about how surprised people seem to be when they learn that Rock is a) my real last name (people often think it's made up) and b) my married last name - and I'm not married anymore.

I was trying to decide if I should write about the decision, and the apparent and unexpected fall-out, and the my friend Baking Suit posted this last week.. This is apparently a case of great minds thinking alike - and thus, this post was born.

I graduated college in 1996, engaged but not yet married. My last name was Ginett. Gi pronouned like give, nett prounounced like net. Prior to the commencement ceremony, graduates were asked to hand in an index card with our name written as we would like it pronounced as we walked across the stage. I wrote my name out; then I provided a phonetic spelling; then I provided examples of the correct pronunciation. My index card was given to an English professor with a PhD.

Who misprounounced my last name as I was handed my diploma.

I could not wait to get married and get rid of that last name. I love my family, and they are largely responsible for who I am as a person. But I wanted to be a Rock. Two years later, I would be.

Anyone who says that marriage doesn't change who you are has either never been married, or is living in a perpetual state of denial. I don't care how self-aware you are, if you lived together first, or what - being married changes you. Even just a teeny bit.

Since I married young, that was even more true for me. I hadn't even come into my own when I walked down the aisle, so I did a whole lotta changing in the ten years that followed.

Unfortunately, I learned that there was one thing that could change me more than marriage: Divorce. Four years later, I am most definitely not the same person I was when I got married, or even when the marriage started to end. But I am also not the same person who so happily marched down to the Social Security Office in July 1998 to begin the process of changing from a Ginett to a Rock.

So who the hell am I? Should I still be Sue Rock? Or go back to being Sue Ginett?

There was a time when I planned to change my name as soon as the ink was dry on my divorce papers. Of course that was also when I was angry with X, and dragging furniture to the end of the driveway on my own in a fit of...well....rage. Anger makes people do stupid things. I didn't need that bookcase, but I am very glad I didn't make any more lasting decisions while in that state of mind.

After things calmed down, and X and I started to develop a friendship, I saw things differently. Here are the factors that ultimately influenced my decision to keep my married name:

* Paperwork - I freaking hate it. Though it isn't terribly complicatd to legally change your name, getting it changed on bills, accounts, and even important documents (like the other diploma I received in 2008) is just a lot of work that I really don't want.

* Professional Branding - I'd already started blogging, networking, and other work, under this name. Changing it seemed like more of a hassle. Not to mention - Rock is just a cooler name than Ginett. Sorry, Dad - but it's true.

* Personal Branding - Most of my closest friends know me as Sue Rock (with a few exceptions). They'd probably keep referring to me that way, even if my name did change. So what's the point?

* Family Ties - X doesn't have a lot of family. My family loved him as though he was their own, and he loved them too. I can't speak for him, but I still consider X a part of my family (and I know my family feels the same). I feel like it's nice for him to have at least one other Rock around.

The bottom line is this: I came into who I am as a person with the last name Rock. It more closely identifies with who I am today, and I like the name. It's mine; I earned it, and I'm keeping it. So there.

Now, are there any circumstances under which I'd consider changing my name? I can think of only two:

Sue Jeter - has a nice ring, dontcha think?

* If X got remarried - Out of respect for the new Mrs. Rock, I might change my name, if it mattered to either of them. I doubt that it would (I'm not a Mrs., I'm a Ms., so she'd still be the only Mrs. X Rock around). But I'd be gracious enough to at least consider the change.

* If I got remarried - If I knew then what I know now, I'd never have changed my name in the first place - but I can't unring that bell. Still, I'd understand if my imaginary-future-husband (or as I like to call him, Derek) was uncomfortable with the idea that his wife's name was given to her by her ex-husband.

In that case, would I change my name to his, or just go back to my maiden name? I'm not sure. But I do know if I ever do this again, it will be the last time.

Anything to keep the paperwork to a minimum.

Randoms

Randoms: A variety of unrelated ideas that are too short for separate posts, pulled together to get it all out in the open. Like throwing something at the wall, to see what sticks. Amanda does this sometimes and so does Cute~Ella. So, this isn't my idea, but I am stealing borrowing from awfully good places. Why reinvent the wheel?

- I've been avoiding the gym. Not on purpose; I was legitimately sick for most of October. I could barely breathe, let alone work out. Last week I was finally better - and legitimately busy, to the point I was unable to even get to the gym. Now, I'm feeling better - and I need to get it into gear.

- While I love Rosie (my phone) it's very frustrating that she uses so much battery, and that I'm having trouble with storage capacity. I think the problem with technology is that once we get a little taste, we keep wanting more and more. It's like crack - or chocolate.

- Speaking of chocolate, and reasons I need to go to the gym - Chrissy recently brought Freihofer's Chocolate Chip Cookies into the house. I try never to do that, because I truly can't resist the little treats. One bite and suddenly I'm 8 years old, hanging out with my dad on a Saturday afternoon. 

- I've recently discovered some new-to-me TV shows. My latest obsessions are Castle and Big Bang Theory. Something about a chronically quotable comedy just makes me smile.

- Ever have really high hopes for your plans - and everything exceeded your expectations? I rarely do - which makes me appreciate it even more when it happens. I'm truly a lucky, lucky woman. 

Friday Five: Halloween

Mine was not nearly this cool.

I love Halloween. I decorate for Halloween the way most people decorate for Christmas - except a tree. I don't have a Halloween tree. Yet.

Since this weekend will probably be a three-day celebration of All Hallows Eve, I figured it was as good a time as any to list my Top Fives for Halloween - tricks, treats and costumes.

Treats - Hershey's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way, Snickers (notice a theme?) - and money.

Tricks - Candy corn (What is that about?), anything gummy (bears, fruit, etc.), Warheads, toothbrush, fruit

Costumes - Paul Stanley (Yes, I did.), 60's Girl, punk rocker (which was my costume basically every year from the time I was 10 on), Little Red Riding Hood (as part of a couples costume) - and Wonder Woman, when I was 5.

Truth on the internet

"There is no room on the internet for the truth." Big Bang Theory

OHmyfreakinggod - I love this show. It's quotable, funny and clever - all rolled up into a perfectly wrapped, 30 minute package. I only just discovered it, and am happy that TBS recently added reruns to their schedule. I enjoy reruns - especially since I don't really stick to a steady, nightly TV schedule of any sort. 

So I'm working on a post about my Myers-Briggs personality type. It's taking a long time, and I'm very busy, and still a little sick...erm....so it's not done. I trolled facebook quickly for some material, and found this picture posted by a friend, which I though went nicely with the quote, which was posted by me.  

In case you're wondering where I found it - it was on Daniel Nester's facebook page. I have no idea where he got it. But he's very cool - you should totally check out his web site, and tell him I sent you.

I wonder if Nester watches Big Bang Theory? 

No Words Wednesday: Says it all

A picture really is worth a thousand words.
Source

Columbus Day

Man: Christopher Columbus never needed directions - and neither do I!


Woman: Yes, dear.  You do realize Columbus never actually got where he was going, right?

Friday Five: Banned books

September 24 - October 1 is Banned Books Week. Did you know that? I didn't, until the other night.

I think banning books should be a sin - or at least illegal. I'm of the opinion that there is no greater right than the freedom to express ourselves - and books are an expression, a representation of how things really are (or perhaps how they should be). Either that - or they're purely entertainment, and who on earth would want to ban people from being entertained? If you don't like it - just don't read it.

It's amazing when you look at a list of banned classics - many of which were later "unbanned" - and made part of high school curriculum. I read several of these in high school - and banned or not, they still bored me to tears.

A Separate Peace, Jonathan Knowles

Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut

Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell

Animal Farm, George Orwell

Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck

If only someone would have banned Old Man and the Sea. Oh - how I hated that book.

What banned books have you read? 

Good grammar

I found this on facebook - from this person over here.

And while I agree with Ashley's father that she should be more careful when texting, I also think he should concern himself less with what who his daughter plays, and more with his own felonious grammar.

From uberhumor.com

No words Wednesday: Creepy

Not surprisingly, no one purchased this at the garage sale.

What do I know?

I'm older than most of you reading this; I've also done a few "grown-up" things that some haven't (House, marriage - divorce. You get the idea.) I have no illusions that this makes me any smarter than anyone - but one point of this blog is to pass on any "wisdom" I've acquired from which others might benefit.

This week's gem? Home ownership is not all it's cracked up to be.

I love to shop on the weekends, go to movies, hang out with friends, go see my cousins, etc. Some weekends, I can get away with it. Others - not so much. There's stuff that has to be done - deck furniture to put away, leaves to be cleaned up, lawns to be mowed, mulch to be spread, gardens to be pruned.

In short - houses are a lot of work. This is all stuff someone else would take care of if I lived in an apartment. Or even owned a condo.

But nooooo....

It looks so innocent....

So I'm outside for two hours this weekend, dragging huge bags of mulch all over the yard to get them into the garden. I trimmed, I clipped, I weeded - I got a sliver from the stupid barberry bush, which are really pretty, but completely treacherous.

One of those bushes is huge - so I couldn't just trim it with the clippers. I had to get out the electric hedge trimmer (which I highly recommend if you need such things). I actually like using that thing, and was humming along. Until the wire got unruly - and I accidentally cut through the cord with the trimmer.

Sparks flew - towards me, towards the garden; towards the house. Ooops.

My cousin says to me: Why were you using tools?!

Well, the answer to that is simple: I'm single, I live alone, and I can't afford to pay someone to do my yard work. It has to be done - and I'm the one who has to do it. {cue violin} Don't get me wrong, it's satisfying to own something of your own; to look at a well-kept home and know you did it all yourself. It's also an excellent workout.

But it's hard work - and doesn't always leave a lot of room for fun. Which is not something any real estate agent will put on the listing.

Which brings me back to my point - home ownership isn't all it's cracked up to be. Also - the world is a much safer place when I'm in a shoe store.

Friday Fill-Ins: September 16

Here we go!

1. Do they have to interrupt the exact show I'm watching with "breaking news?"

2. I made dinner; it was as if I was suddenly a grown-up.

3. That was a really good game the other night.

4. The chair seemed so comfortable when I sat down.


5. As I said, I am not a morning person.


6. There's always some new twist to her stories.


7. And as for the weekend, tonight I am looking forward to dinner, tomorrow my plans include helping a friend and Sunday I want to relax and basically do nothing.

Third grade lesson

"With third grade comes a new mouth." 

That's what my cousin said to me while she was trying to explain to me that she and her husband are having a little trouble getting their 8-year-old to listen. 

Thing is - this is one awesome 8-year-old. And that's not a compliment I give lightly.

It's important to teach kids boundaries, and respect, and how to handle themselves in public. After all, no one is doing them any favors by letting them think that all adults will think they're as wonderful as their parents (and favorite cousins) do. 

But you can't tell an 8-year-old to do something "just because." Especially not one who is smart and awesome. It's better to demonstrate; even better yet if you can relate it to something that's important to them. 

"If you can remember the last thing I said, you can have a peanut butter cup," Dad said to his son. 

My little cousin paused, considering his father's challenge. His eyes lit up as he said,

You said: You can have a peanut butter cup.

Which was, of course, the last thing Dad said.

We teach kids a lot. But if you're paying attention, every now and then, they'll teach you something even more important.

No one is perfect

The other day, I said to someone - No one is perfect; we all have our flaws. His response? "So what are yours?"

Interesting question. One I wasn't totally sure how to answer.

Personally, I think most of my flaws are physical. I'm too short, I'm too fat, my nose is too big, my smile isn't even, etc. But those weren't the sort of flaws he was asking about. To his credit, he was trying to have an interesting conversation. (It's worth noting that asking someone to think about their flaws is a good way to get them to stop analyzing yours....)

More like five 2's.... 

So I thought....

Then I realized I had just driven by about 15 parking spots because there were signs everywhere saying "No Parking Any Time." Even though dozens of other cars were parked, I was too scared to follow their lead. As I passed a car on the way to a parking lot, a man exited his car with his dog - on a very long leash. Before I knew it, the little guy was in the road - right under my car.

My reaction? Put my hands up in a "What the....?!" gesture, that was (I believe) accompanied by a raised voice.

So I turned to my friend and said, "My flaws? I'm inpatient, and have no tolerance for stupidity."

Then I stopped to consider my outfit. My bedroom looked like my thirteen-year-old self was visiting for the weekend - because, naturally, I had nothing to wear. When it came down to choosing a pair of shoes, I sent a picture to my friend to make sure they weren't "too sneaker-like" before finally settling on the complete ensemble.

I also remembered that the whole reason I was driving was because I wanted to make sure I had air conditioning on the warm day - and that I wouldn't forget to take Dramamine before getting on the boat. Also that I spent most of the night stressing over the fact that my nails hadn't gotten done the day before.

"And I might be slightly high maintenance."

Interesting question. What are your flaws?