Thursday, September 9, 2010

Small Favors

I've posted before about some of the less-than-stellar guys I met through online profiles. There were a few "jerky" moves that I left off the list because I thought they were worthy of their own post. Yeah - they're that good [I think so, anyway].

Carrie Bradshaw & her Russian.
I met "The Russian" online last July. [He actually was Russian and his name was tough to pronounce; I mostly like the SATC reference. :)]  We chatted online often, and we did so for several weeks before he asked me to go out.   

The thing was, although I liked chatting with him, I was having trouble getting over someone. So, even though I wanted to meet someone new - I didn't really think it was fair, and I cancelled our date. The Russian persisted, saying he'd "invested all this time" getting to know me, and to please at least give him a chance. 

On the advice of a friend, I relented and said we could meet. Great, he said. Then he asked if I'd like to chat online for a little while. Sure, I said - what shall we chat about? I suggested movies, music, or (as a joke) homosexuals in the military. [In retrospect, maybe I was trying to pick a fight, because I was so turned off from the whole "meeting people" thing. But, it was his choice and he could have just as easily picked music. So there.]

We started chatting, and the topic shifted to same-sex marriage. I've posted before about my feelings on this topic. Here was his take:

  • Same-sex marriage threatens the value society places on the marital relationship 
  • That value is responsible for wives being treated with respect, and given things such as health benefits, alimony, etc. 
  • As a woman, I should oppose same-sex marriage because it's a threat to those benefits, which I (along with all women) need because we are the weaker sex....
I'm not sure if blood can actually boil, or if that is just a figure of speech. If it can happen, it was happening to me right then. I honestly can't remember ever being that angry with anyone (with the possible exception of my ex during our worst fights). But, wait - he wasn't finished....
  • When I objected to his view of women as the weaker sex, he informed me that he expected me to react that way. Why? Well, you see, because American women have all become completely irrational. It's a side effect of the women's rights movement.
I about flew through the roof. Had it not been for the fact that my house-mate and her two small children were downstairs, I probably would have thrown my laptop across the room. I was that mad. Thank goodness for small favors, and we had this conversation via IM. If I'd had this conversation with him in person, there's a very good chance the title of my blog would be "My Life Behind Bars."  


Anyway... What's my point? This was a situation where meeting and chatting online worked to my advantage. I'm sure The Russian was a nice guy in many ways, and I do hope he's found someone that makes him happy. I would not have been that woman, and I knew that from the beginning, which I think was probably the real reason I cancelled the date. I never wasted any energy in choosing an outfit, picking a venue, or forcing conversation. The entire, albeit short-lived, relationship took place online. I was free to talk with other friends, watch TV, read a book - whatever - while I took the time to find out he wasn't the guy for me. 

How's that for multi-tasking?


  1. hahaha! great story, and great line: If I'd had this conversation with him in person, there's a very good chance the title of my blog would be "My Life Behind Bars."
    Isn't it great when we find out the guys we think have potential are actually mysogynists in disguise? what a jerk this guy sounds like! glad you found out early on, but whew, that was a close call!

  2. Hahaha...thanks. Not a good guy. Luckily, I didn't run into too many. Ugh.