Saturday, October 4, 2014

Give it a try

I've been told I am a very pragmatic person. Even as a kid, I always wanted to understand "why." If the why didn't make sense, I didn't subscribe to the lesson. "Because I said so" never really worked with me (which, you can imagine, led to the occasional conflict).

As a young adult, I left that behind for a while. I started chasing goals and dreams that belonged to others, because it was what I thought I was "supposed to do." I figured that when I finally checked all of the items off the list, I'd see what all the fuss was about.

I did not.

Now that I am (*ahem*) older, I've come full circle. I'm back to searching out "whys" that make sense. "Because everyone else is doing it" doesn't cut it anymore.

My choices don't always make sense to the people around me. Sometimes I think my friends and family (especially my family) wonder if I haven't let things get completely off-track. 

Those who know me best, know better. I am not ignoring what I know, and what I have learned. Pride, reason, and experience are all still a part of every choice I make.

I'm just finally letting my heart have a say, too.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Moving target

Ever find yourself thinking, "Why me?" Or, maybe even worse, "Why not me?"

We've all been there. You look around and it seems like everyone else has their stuff together. Right job, right relationship, right home - whatever. Then you look back at yourself and you think, "What happened here? Why don't I have that?"

I think that feeling is normal - sometimes. The trick (I think) is to get some perspective before you're overcome with the overwhelming anxiety that can follow.

Happiness isn't really a destination; it's more like a moving target. Sometimes you're right in line with exactly what you want or where you want to be. Other times, you think you know - only to find that it isn't all you expected. So, you have to pivot, and adjust your aim.

If you're anything like me, you probably feel like you're always pivoting. Maybe you have found yourself wondering why you can't just have what you want?

I like to think that maybe I haven't hit my target because I've been aiming too low. I suppose it would be easy to think that I somehow don't deserve to just be happy like everyone else. But I prefer to think that my happiness isn't simple like everyone else.

Mine will be absolutely amazing.

So what's a lady to do while she waits, and sets her sights on amazing?

Think about all you have. Focus on all the happiness you've already found, and how much better things are than they could have been.

Remember -  your goal isn't to reach the end, anyway. Three months from now, "happy" could look completely different than today's target. That's not a problem for those of us who know how to adjust - just means there's always something to look forward to.

So maybe those of us who are always pivoting are the ones who have it right.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Beautiful

Most women don't think they're enough. Not pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough, smart enough, rich enough.... Whatever it is - in our heads, we're not enough.

We're even taught that if someone tells us we are {insert compliment}, we should deny the idea. "Oh, please - look at my butt/abs/thighs/hair/etc." How can we ever have a healthy self-esteem if we're tearing ourselves down, even when others try to build us up?

It has taken me a long time (plus a lot of tears, and a little counseling) to learn that I really am enough. I'll never be thin, and the tall ship sailed about 30 years ago. I definitely look better some days more than others, but I know that I have plenty more to offer - and it makes me more than enough.

This morning I ran across this post about changing women's inner voice, the one that tells us we're not enough. It got me thinking - what if we all started telling each other how we really see one another? How much better would the world be if every woman saw her own value? Knew her own worth?

The thing is - we women have to listen. It won't do any good to hear positive words if we shoot them down.

If you know a beautiful woman, tell her. Tell her why she's beautiful. Tell her how she makes you feel; tell her why she's valuable.

Ladies, if someone tells you you're beautiful - listen. Don't dismiss the idea. Really hear that person tell you why you're beautiful, and say thank you. Believe them - because they're right.

That would make the world a much more beautiful place.