Holiday struggles

Boy has it been a while.

For anyone still listening - I'm sorry for the silence. For anyone who stumbles upon this space and decides to stay - I can't promise it will get better, but I'll try. Again.

Anyway - it's November 20, there's snow outside, and I have packages arriving everyday this week, some even filled with stuff not for me.

So it must be the holidays. 

If you're not new around here, you know that this is not my favorite time. For years and years it was great. Then I had a job that became nothing but a big pile of stress in December, making the holidays all but impossible to enjoy. Then I got divorced and all the traditions (I thought) I needed to be happy went out the window. 

Over time my job has changed a little and I've learn to manage the stress. My traditions never recovered, but I accepted that and actually have come to enjoy the freedom that comes with fewer expectations. 

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that a lot of the family time that comes with the holidays is also a huge trigger for my anxiety. Trying to please everyone (and inevitably failing), having to (once again) explain why my life doesn't look like they think it should, being caught in awkward family feuds... It's supposed to be a fun time of year, but it's taken over by so much stress.

I struggle to get through each day, worried that it will be the day I finally break. I practice my anxiety relief activities, and try to remind myself that this too shall pass. After all, January is coming - right?!

It's been a huge help to me in the last few years to realize I am not alone in this fight. It turns out I know a lot of people who struggle too.

So for those going through anything that will make this season a tough one, remember this:

You are not alone.

So let's put on our fancy holiday anxiety and push through!

Surviving traditions

The holidays really stress me out. For a while I thought it was just me. I thought I was this strange anomaly of a daughter / niece / cousin / friend who couldn't find the joy in running from obligation to obligation, in lousy weather, while I bleed money, during the busiest time of my work year. 

Back in December, I went to talk with my counselor (yep, still have one of those) who assured me I was not alone. In fact, I had trouble making a January appointment because he was over-booked... due to the holidays.

We talked about traditions and how difficult it can be when they change. Whether it's decorating, or gifts, or meals, or whatever... even if it's stressful, most people have trouble letting go. In fact, he told me that for many people, changing a tradition can be even more stressful than the tradition itself.

My traditions have changed so much over the last 10 years, I'm at the point where I've stopped

counting on them. I feel like my only constant at the holidays is not knowing what will happen, where I'll be, or who will show up.

You know what I have found? That's OK with me. 

I used to think traditions made me feel better. That I found joy in being sure about what, where, and who. Then, things shifted and it was out of my control, and I realized... that wasn't making me happy at all.

What keeps me happy is knowing that everyone else is happy. Meeting everyone else's expectations, keeping them satisfied and comfortable - that's what matters to me.

I started to accept that I can't make others happy, I can only let them be happy. So - even though it's a little frustrating on the fourth Tuesday in November that I have no idea where I'm eating in two days... it's what makes everyone else happy, and that is OK. 

I remind myself of a couple of things:

• I know where I won't be - at my apartment. I just have to show up somewhere.
• If I don't get an invite, I can always get sushi. 

It isn't easy letting go of traditions that have been around since childhood. I still struggle with it sometimes. But I have found it can be a relief to not worry about making others happy and let them do that for themselves. It was also a little empowering to realize that letting traditions change means you can start to carve out your own, new traditions that really honor what you want to celebrate in your life. What's more, allowing letting things go leaves me free to change things up for myself, because my life is definitely not done changing.

Once you open yourself up to the idea that change is OK - suddenly, traditions (or lack thereof) don't seem so bad.

A jar full

I came across a post from last year in which I wrote a few "goals" (because resolutions never work for me) for 2015. Thought it would be fun to see how I did.

• Get a promotion (check - November 1)

• Earn a new designation (whoops)

• Travel to someplace I haven't been (check - a fun trip to Fenway Park in July and a lovely trip to Maine in August)

• Learn to make something in my crock pot (check - I made Buffalo Chicken Dip and chili for a party a few weeks ago)

• Add to my "Rememberlutions Jar" each day (check - not every day, but it's full)

• Self-publish a book (I started it, then  got distracted)

• Less searching and worrying (check - though this is a work in progress)

• More faith that things will work out on their own (check - also a work in progress)

• Napping - because napping is important (check)

• Make a few mistakes (check)

Make mistakes? I added that to a list of goals? The point was if you're not making mistakes, you're not trying anything new. I was telling myself to not be afraid of new people, places, or experiences, no matter how great the risk might seem.

For years, I've been afraid to trust anyone with my heart. I was afraid to let anyone in, because I'd been so hurt in the past. This was one mistake I wasn't willing to risk.

I thought the only way I'd ever let anyone in my life was on my terms - no compromise, no change. That way, I was in complete control and couldn't be hurt. No risk.

If you'd asked me last December if I was willing to set aside all my rules and deal breakers, let go of my worry, take a huge leap of faith, and let someone in - I would have said no.

But I did - and that one risk has brought more light, joy, happiness, and love to my life than I ever thought possible.

Now I'm looking forward to filling a jar for next year with even better adventures, places, and fun.

Here's to 2016 - and another jar full of mistakes!

I don't know much

I don't know much about much, but one thing I have learned in the last few years is that mistakes and challenges are often lessons in disguise.  People are doomed to repeat the same mistake until they finally learn the lesson it was meant to teach.

September 11 is a pretty awful day. No one has good memories anymore. Everyone talks about where they were when the towers fell. It's a sad reminder of a tragic day filled with nothing but grief and loss.

I wasn't personally affected. I wasn't in New York or Washington DC or in a field in PA. I wasn't on a plane. I didn't personally know anyone who was. But I felt the day. It triggered some terrible anxiety and worry for me - that something would happen and take someone away from me. Loss is my greatest fear, and it doesn't take much for me to feel scared.

In the days and weeks that followed, everyone everywhere saw a change in Americans. We were kinder towards each other - more accepting, understanding, and accomodating. Differences didn't really matter - if you were an American, you'd been attacked. We were all neighbors. We weren't the arrogant Americans they thought, and they couldn't weaken our spirit. The US was stronger because of the attack.

In the years since, there's been a huge shift. We're tougher on each other. We're divided over issues like same-sex marriage, guns, welfare, Healthcare, religion - you name it, we've probably used it as a reason to argue. We attack each other over political view points and personal opinions. We poke fun at one another for meaningless reasons.

Of course we are all entitled to an opinion, whether we agree or not. Embracing that right means we still have not conceded victory to the terrorists. We continue to embrace the very freedom they sought to attack. We are still strong in our belief that freedom includes the right to disagree.

I think every time we argue with each other, we weaken that freedom. Taking a side is fine; judging others for the side they choose is not. The minute we allow our opinions to become bigger than our humanity - the terrorists win, just a little.

If we really don't want them to win - and if we really don't want any of the lives lost to be in vain - we have to do better. We have to stop behaving like the pompous, self-righteous Americans they meant to attack.

Like I said, I don't know much. But from where I sit, we need to get back to respecting each other, working together, and making our whole country a better place.

We can post all the pictures and poems and memories we want one day a year. But if we really want to win, we need to bring a whole lot more light into our world every day.

Until we learn that lesson, they will have won.

Everything, always

Christmas was always my favorite holiday growing up. I love presents, and as the only child of divorced parents, I got a crap-ton on Christmas.

When I was married, Christmas was still my favorite. I was (and am) still an only child - and I continued to get a crap-ton of stuff. Some of it turned into gift cards, which was great. There were just enough to last until my birthday, which my parents conveniently placed just about 6 months out. Nicely done!

Then I got divorced, which I admit put a pretty big damper on Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I still have a lovely holiday, I'm still surrounded by wonderful people, and I do still like stuff (though there's something to be said for downsizing).

Something else I learned this year is that there's been something missing from my holidays (and, probably other days, too, but let's focus). The most important, lovely, and special things simply don't fit under a tree.

Shiny packages and pretty stuff can make a great substitute - that is, until your heart figures out what really matters most.

Luckily, the trick to finding the important stuff is the same as when you asked Santa for a new toy on Christmas.

Believe.

Merry Everything, Happy Always - that's my Christmas wish.

Choose happy

I am going to let you in on a little secret: Starting around November 15, I start wishing it would just be New Years Day, already. Sure, I enjoy my time with friends, and I like all the yummy food the holidays offer. Anyone who knows me knows I love Christmas presents (giving and receiving, thankyouverymuch). I get a kick out of some of my holiday decorations, since I'm a sucker for glitter and sparkle.

But damn, if this time of year isn't tough.

Between the extra family stress and the fact that my traditions are...well....non-existent at this point, I'm about done with decking my halls. I just want to eat a little food, watch "It's a Wonderful Life," reflect on a few good memories, and hope for the best as I turn yet another page.

Since I live with depression every day of my life, I know what to do and how to manage. I am thankful to be in a position where I can actually choose to be happy. I wasn't always here; happiness was once nothing more than a fuzzy idea that seemed totally out of reach. So I know just how lucky I am.

I have learned ways to find happiness. When that fails - I have learned how to create happiness. I have learned that, if you're lucky, happiness really is a choice - one you have to make every single day.

But it's still tough - and I know I am not the only one. So if you know someone going through a tough time, here is a good list of things not to say.

If you're going through a rough time, just remember - January is coming. Until then, if you need a smile, let me know. I'm sure I have one or two to spare.

Singleness

This just in: I'm single on Valentines Day.

More breaking news: I'll be single after my 40th birthday, too.

What's really surprising? I'm perfectly OK with my singleness.

I rarely talk about dating here - and this post is no different. I'm not talking about dating, or even how I handle not dating.

I'm here to talk about how much it seems to bother other people that I'm single.

I really am OK with all the links to articles about how to be single when I'm 40, or what people have learned being single in their 30s, or how to handle V-Day solo. My personal favorite was this one (Joe wasn't impressed, though - typical guy).

I'm OK when friends ask what is new, and I try to talk to them about Stella & Dot, or Big Brothers Big Sisters, or selling my house - or anything. I'm thankful some listen, and it's really OK that some don't. It's even OK when some immediately ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" As if every other accomplishment pales in comparison to the lack of romantic love in my life.

"What's that? You cured cancer?! Great. Were you able to find a date for that wedding? No? Well, don't worry - you'll find him when you least expect it. Maybe you should just focus on yourself for a while..."

Anyone else find it ridiculous that someone would offer "focus on yourself" as advice to someone who obviously already is?

The condescending smiles and encouragement are fine. Welcome actually.

They don't make me sad. They don't make me angry. I don't feel inferior, or inspired to marry the next guy who comes along.

The advice makes me smile. I remember (fondly) the times in my life when I was in a healthy, happy, committed relationship. I know how good that can feel - and what a blessing it is to find someone you love, who loves you back.

I'm happy for my friends who I know are happy - and who I know want the same for me.

But of course - not all the advice comes from those in happy, healthy relationships. Not all of it is about me being happy. Sometimes it's about the advisor trying to make himself feel better by making me feel bad.

Then I'm grateful. I understand how precious love is, and how easily it's lost. I know that no matter how much of an "expert" you think you are, you're never more than one big misunderstanding away from being single next Valentines Day.

So, to my friends who truly want me to be happy - Happy Valentines Day. Thanks for showing me what love is really all about.

To the others....maybe you should just focus on yourselves for a while.

I resolve...

I was asked today if the blog was still here. After double-checking, I realized it is... just super quiet.

Hopefully I can change that a little in 2014.

For now, I'm just wishing everyone a happy, safe, and wonderful new year!

I'll shop if I want

I expect I'll take some crap for this...which is fine, I've been taking crap from all kinds of places for months now (hence the long absence) so I'm used to it by now. 

I keep seeing post after post about the evil retailers who plan to be open for shopping on Thanksgiving Day. That's right - the Black Friday deals that used to start at 5 am, then started at midnight, are now going to be starting much earlier. Stores like Macy's, Wal-Mart, and Toys R Us will be open for business before the last dish is washed from your holiday feast. Some will be open all day.

This is, apparently, bothersome to a lot of people. They feel it disrupts the "sanctity" of Thanksgiving, a holiday that is supposed to be about giving thanks for family and friends, and spending time with the people you cherish most.

Which, is fabulous. In theory. But, you know, life happens.

Each time I see someone post about how awful it is that stores will be open, and how retail is "messing with their holiday" I wonder - is that person even affected? I mean - unless you or a close family member work in retail, why would my shopping on that day have any impact on you or your holiday?

Then I wonder how they feel about how other families are affected by businesses and services being open on holidays. They say people shouldn't shop, so retail employees can be off. Does that mean we should also avoid using any service that forces employees to work a holiday?

What if they had a fire at their home on Thanksgiving Day? Or got sick because they didn't cook the turkey properly? Would they refuse to call 911 because they didn't want to support emergency services being open on Thanksgiving?

What about all the people who travel on Thanksgiving? Would they not stop to get gas? Or call roadside assistance? Are they perfectly happy sleeping in the airport so that the crew can go home for dinner? But wait - if the airport is open there has to be security. So they'd have to go to a hotel... Wait!! Then those people will have to work.

But those are "necessary" workers, right? That's fine....just don't support frivolous, unnecessary holiday work.

What about the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? An estimated 50 million people watch the parade. What a bunch of louses! They've been killing Thanksgiving for years, making all those extra police and fire fighters and EMTs along the parade route work a holiday. What about all the celebrities and performers and TV hosts and crew who work the parade? Don't forget the people in the parade, marching and dragging those balloons. Those Macy's employees have to volunteer for that gig. At least those working in the stores will get paid!!

We can't forget football...I assume everyone worried about the sanctity of Thanksgiving has been boycotting the NFL, as well? For years, its been killing the holiday for all of the players, coaches, stadium employees, and TV personnel who are stuck working instead of being home with their families.

Obviously, we can't forget the most important of all...soldiers who are stationed on bases around the country, and around the world, working to protect our freedom to eat turkey and bitch about retail hours. So when you think about it - the very fact that you're posting in the first place means you're killing someone's holiday.

Yes, yes, yes...I get it. Certain jobs are critical and require people to be at work, even on a holiday. My point is, those people and their families have adjusted. They've figured out that it doesn't matter what day you eat the turkey, or when you sit at the table together. They celebrate on the weekend, or the week before, or the next month - whenever they can.

The point is, to celebrate and appreciate what you have, how lucky you are, and remember to say thanks.

Truthfully, if you haven't figured that out, you're doing the holiday wrong anyway.

PS - Yes, I've read that some employees asked for the time off and were denied. I haven't taken a day off (other than scheduled holidays) in November or December in...well...never. When I was in high school and college, I worked retail. When I worked for a health insurance company I didn't have enough seniority to get the time. Since I went to work in property & casualty insurance 13 years ago, I haven't been able to take the time because this is our busiest renewal season. Do I get the holidays? Yes. I'm lucky. But I still miss out on certain parts of the season because I work a full day on Christmas or New Years Eve. I can't take extra time around Thanksgiving, so travel is always out. So, anyone who is looking for sympathy simply because they have to work a regularly scheduled day anyway - this isn't the place to look.

Happy Shemar Moore Day!

Shemar Moore.

Borrowed from his Facebook page

If ever you needed proof that God not only exists, but He loves us and wants us to be happy...there you have it.

His new website - shemarmoore.com - launched today. Is this the best Valentine's Day ever or what?!?

Here's a Youtube video of him telling all his "baby girls" he'll be their Valentine. I'm including myself on this list.

Follow him on Twitter, too - because there's really no way to get too much of such a good thing.

Oh - and Happy Valentine's Day!

On my heart

I am not making resolutions this year - but I am writing a few things on my heart.

Found it here.

- I will not let the problems of others bring me down
- I will thank God each day for all that I have
- I will remember to tell my friends how important they are, and how much I love them
- I will approach each day as though it will be the best day of the year - because it just may be
- I will surround myself only with people who add to my happiness
- I will learn to value myself the way others value me

I see some changes in how I approach my work, relationships, health, and finances in 2013. I know what I need to do, and I plan to do so. If I set a schedule, I know I'll probably fall behind; if I make specific promises, I know I'll probably fall slightly short.

I figure if I approach it by reminding myself of the big things...the little things have a good chance of falling into place.

I will set monthly goals for myself...and do my best to achieve them. I won't be too hard on myself if I don't always get it quite right. There's still next time.

I'm happy to see 2012 go. I was starting to hope it was all an episode of Dallas, and any minute Pam was going to wake up and find Bobby in the shower.

That's not the case, which is fine. I'm going to tuck the lessons and heartaches and triumphs from 2012 in my pocket, and push forward.

I'm ready for 2013. Bring it.

How kids affect your holiday

My holiday turned out to be more stressful and depressing than I planned. I mean - it's always a little bit stressful and I always get a little down at some point. There was just a bunch of unexpected stuff happening that sent this one over the edge.

I was feeling like this:

A big, jumbled, confusing pile that made no sense.

Then I got my stuff together, and realized my priorities were all out of whack. I had some people to make smile - important people. Plus I promised myself I could do it without help.

Kids make everything just a little bit better.

It's amazing what you can get done when you get your priorities in line.

Just believe

It's not always easy to believe in life. Sometimes all you get are problems, questions, and heartache. Other times, you get some good, but it feels incomplete somehow...or just not quite right. You think, "I should be excited about this..." But you're just not.

Once in a while, something magical shows up. Maybe it's not packaged exactly the way you were expecting. Maybe it requires a little bit of work. Maybe it's up to you to look a little harder to find the treasure.

That can be easy to miss. Some say it's not worth it; that if it was truly good, it would show up perfect.

I think that's when you really need to believe.

Christmas is a time of miracles. It's a time for forgiveness. It's a time to set aside differences and worries, and just be happy. It's a time to start over. It's a time when wishes come true. It's a time when nothing matters but a smile on someone's face, or a little joy in someone's heart.

Christmas is a chance for something better; something that brings a little sparkle to your life.

But only if you believe.

Airing my grievance

I have a lot of grievances. Yesterday was Festivus, so I thought in honor of that, I'd air just one. That was a tough choice...here's what I got.

Visit bureauofcommunication.com

Not this year

When I was a kid, I loved to open the holiday cards family and friends would send to my father. I especially loved when the card included my name, either on the inside or even the outside. I've always loved mail.

I moved out of my father's home November 1995 - and couldn't wait to start my own holiday card list. I took all the names and addresses from his book, bought some cards, and got to work. Soon, cards started pouring in, addressed to me and X (we weren't Mr. & Mrs. at that point).

I was so proud of myself! To me, getting cards sent to my own address was a milestone. A rite of passage, of sorts.

Over the years, I have always looked forward to sending out cards. Selecting the perfect design (usually on clearance in previous year's post-holiday sale), making my list - and checking off the names in the send/received columns on my spreadsheet (yes, I have a spreadsheet).

One year, I even ordered personalized cards signed by me, X - and the dog and the cat.

The first Christmas I celebrated after X and I separated, I used the Christmas cards as a way of letting people know I was single. Not that I wrote one of those family letters or anything. I sent my cards out early that year, signing them just Sue - no longer Sue and X. (I mostly did this because I knew if I didn't, I'd get at least one card that was addressed to us both, and I knew that would be heartbreaking for me.)

Even then, I embraced this tradition learned from my Nanny and my Dad. I used it as another rite of passage, moving from wife to single woman.

This year, though - I'm not feeling it. I dragged the cards out last month and stamped and placed return address labels on a bunch of envelopes. They're still in the box, waiting to be addressed. I'm not sure if it's because of all I went through earlier this year, or all I've got going on now. I just can't get motivated.

So, I'm taking the year off.

At first I felt guilty. I tried to force myself to find the time over the weekend. Well, the truth is, I had the time - but I had other things that needed doing, and the cards just weren't a priority.

I'm sort of wondering...is this another "rite of passage?" Is the fact that - after 17 years - I'm willing to miss out on the tradition a sign that my life is changing again?

{I'll tell you a secret - I hope so.}

I figure people know I care - and they certainly know I still celebrate Christmas. Skipping one year won't get me kicked off too many Christmas Card lists.

If it does? Fewer to worry about next year.

NaBloPoMo - Tears of sadness

I cry a lot. Mostly happy tears; occasionally sad. Sometimes, I start out as sad, and then while I'm working through it, something positive happens, and I cry happy tears.

I'm a very emotional person.

I think the last time I cried, they were sad tears. Sad because I was judged by someone who I respect. The words, while intended as good advice, were harsh and stung of criticism.

A smart person once told me that "unsolicited advice is crticism." That's very true. When you offer someone advice that they didn't request, what you're basically saying is that you identified a need for them to improve. You found something they did wrong, and you're trying to correct them.

That's criticism. Even if you don't intend it that way, that is how it will be received.

I try very, very hard not to offer advice unless I'm asked. You can bet that I always have an opinion. If we've talked about it, I have definitely thought about it, processed it, and come up with what I think is the right answer.

Will I share that answer?

Not unless I'm asked.

Why? Because when I give advice, it comes from a place of genuine concern. I know I'm not better than anyone else. Even if I'm in a better place at the time - I was once right where that person is, and probably will be again. I am in no position to criticize.

But I might have good advice. I might be able to help. If I'm going to offer, that's how I want it be received.

I certainly don't want to make anyone cry.

Retail thanks

I keep seeing a lot of posts from people saying they will avoid shopping Thanksgiving Day sales because if they're shopping, someone is working, and if someone is working, that someone isn't with his or her family.

I get it; your family loves Thanksgiving. It's full of warmth and love and good food and laughter and football and family time. Yay. But not everyone feels the same. So before you judge big retailers or other shoppers, consider a few things. Such as...

• This isn't new. Just because certain retailers are open earlier this year than in years past doesn't mean they invented the concept. Have you ever run out of milk or napkins before putting the final touches on the big meal? I have - and boy was I thankful that the nearest grocery store was open. The sign on the door said they were closing at 3 so their employees could enjoy the holiday.
• Which brings up an interesting point. A lot of families eat early on Thanksgiving. Having worked in retail for a long time, I can tell you - they will go nuts tonight fixing things just so, allowing employees to arrive at work tomorrow at the very last second. If the store opens at 8 pm, those employees had time to enjoy a holiday that started at 9 am.
• You're forgetting why these people have these jobs in the first place - to earn money. Stores pay time-and-a-half on holidays; full-time employees will make double-time-and-a-half because they get paid for the holiday, too. That's like earning half a weeks pay check in one day. What would you do with that money this time of year? A lot of those employees are thankful for the chance to earn a little extra.
• The other employees? Those are college and high school students just thankful for a chance to escape their dysfunctional family on the most awkward and mind-numbingly boring night of the year. Trust me. I was one.
• Those retailers you're avoiding because of how they're treating their employees on this one day? Some of them treat their employees terribly all year long - and you're still giving them your money. Joke's on you.
• How about all those holidays that you don't celebrate, where someone is "stuck" working so you can be shopping?

I won't shop on Thanksgiving because I don't like crowds. I don't shop on Black Friday because when I left retail a million years ago, I vowed never to go back to a store on that day.

But if people want to spend their holiday shopping, I say have at it. Spending money supports the economy. It keeps people you're not even thinking about employed, with food on their table, heat in their homes, and kids with smiles on Christmas morning.

That's worth some thanks.

I never liked to beg

 
My first Halloween costume ever was Wonder Woman. I was 5 years old. It was one of those awful, plasticy costumes with the horrible masks that were oh-so-popular in the 70's and 80's. I liked dressing up as Wonder Woman, but I remember wondering - why am I begging strangers for candy? This seems unsafe - and unnecessary. Can't we just go to the store and buy this stuff?


Me dressed up as a sparkly, coordinated witch.
Not a stretch.



Much to my father's relief, after that I sort of lost the taste for trick-or-treating. I think I may have gone once or twice more, but mostly, I just wanted to go to parties or shaving creme fights where I could dress up (with minimal effort) and have fun without begging.



I dressed up once in college - finally realizing my life-long dream of being one-half of a couples costume. Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Because X was (and is) such a good guy - I did not have to beg.



As an adult, I only dress up if there's a party. When I do, I'm minimally creative, and unwilling to invest a whole lot of effort (or money). I don't enter costume contests, and I won't wear anything that isn't an outfit I'd normally wear, anyway. Nothing uncoordinated, no cheap makeup, no bad wigs.

Since I live in a house, I hand out candy. If I'm not going to be home, I leave a basket on the front step. I'd say I do this to be a good neighbor, but mostly it's because I don't want the little beggers to trash my front lawn.

I guess I never got the point of a holiday that celebrates dressing up as someone else - as if who you are isn't fabulous - and begging others to give you something you should know how to get for yourself.



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Memorial Day

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Valentine's Day

Love is a beautiful thing. Not just romantic love, or new love, or exciting love. Love, in any form, is something special, and worth celebrating.

If you're lucky enough to have someone you can count on no matter what...someone who helps without judgment or reservation....you're lucky enough to celebrate.

Whether that person is a significant other, a best friend, a sibling, a parent, a cousin, a coworker... whoever he or she is, make sure you reach out and let him know how grateful you are for the love in your life.

You don't have to be in love to know love.

And you don't need to wait for today to celebrate - but we can all use a reminder now and then.