Phew

I'm house-sitting and watching Chrissy's kids while she and her new husband honeymoon somewhere in Europe. I just have the kids Wednesday and Thursday night, and she did everything she could possibly do ahead of time, to make my life easier.

I was quite honored she asked me to watch the kids. I'm not exactly the first person* people think of when they think about child care (shocking, I know).

Everything was freaking fine, until the three of us got in the car to leave for school - and my car wouldn't start. We pivoted quickly, moved to Chrissy's SUV, and got them to school only 4 minutes later than planned. I was impressed, considering we had to move their booster seats, find keys, and I had to figure out the new car.

As I waited for my battery to be replaced, it occurred to me this could have been much more stressful. So I'm quite grateful that...

• We slept at their house and not mine, where a second car would not have been so readily available.

• My friend's kids are nosy and look where they shouldn't, which is why they knew where to find the keys for that vehicle.

• My car died while everyone was safely in the house.

• I, at some point, thought to put my roadside assistance service membership on auto-renewal, so I had someone to call for help.

• That I came to the same place to replace my battery, and they keep good records. My battery was under warranty.

Phew.

*I wasn't her first thought, either. I am very touched to even be on the list.

Lost fish

The thing about living in my house, is you never know what might happen. When it's just me, things are relatively calm (though there was that time Joe took a flying leap into the lamp shade chasing a moth), but when the housemate and/or kids are home - all bets are off.

So it wasn't shocking to me last night when I heard glass clanging downstairs, and then my housemate muttering, "How does this happen?" and "Seriously?!"

Then from the bottom of the stairs, I hear, "I lost a fish."

Now - of all the things I thought might have happened...that wasn't one of them.

Obviously, I wasn't going to let this moment pass me by, so I went downstairs to hear more.

Turns out, Chrissy had the fish bowl on the sink for cleaning, and the lone fishy in a small container filled with water. The container was shallow and uncovered - and the fish, which had been swimming happily just a few minutes before - was nowhere to be found.

"I shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of living things." Keep in mind, she's the parent in this scenario. She'd already searched the whole bathroom, but we looked again to be sure. She shook out the small rug, moved the trash can, and we moved all the items on the sink.

Maybe he'll make a friend once he gets to the ocean.

No fish.

The only explanation that made any sense is the fish jumped out of the bowl (Which has happened to me before - well, not me, technically. It happened to X, and I just happened to be the first one to notice.).

But even still, we should have found him. So, we've concluded that he must have jumped from the bowl to the sink, and washed down the drain (the water was running). Which works out, because that way he'll just end up washing out to the ocean, where he can play with other fish.

At least, as I understand it, that is what the kids will be told.

Marriage according to a five year old

I live with two kids (well, part time). I love them dearly. They bring a tremendous amount of happiness to my life. They also say the most hilariously blog-worthy stuff.

The other day, my housemate's five-year-old daughter asked her mom about marriage.

5YO: Can you marry your family?

Mom: No, that's not allowed.

5YO: I think you should be allowed to marry family. That way you know what you're getting - and if you don't like it, you can just throw it back.

I love this kid.

Kids and movies

Let me preface this by saying that, though I prefer them to be the variety I can hand back to parents at the end of the day, I really do like kids. Having none of my own allows me to be choosy, and I choose to spend time with the good ones. Sorry if that offends.

I was 3-years-old the first time my dad took me to a movie in a theater. Star Wars: A New Hope. Yes, the original release - let's not discuss how old that makes me.

I don't remember much, but my dad assures me I talked my way through the whole movie. The people around us were, apparently, not amused. My dad did not bring me back to a theater for a movie until after I was in school.

Proper etiquette was always a big deal. Arrive on time (early, even) to avoid disrupting others looking for a seat. Don't get up in the middle of the movie unless it's an emergency. If you're going to snack, do so quietly - no one wants to hear your wrapper crinkling or your soda slurping in the middle of the big scene. Don't talk sort of went without saying. Just because your feet can reach the seat in front of you doesn't mean they should touch.

Breaking these rules was never acceptable. I was told once, it was explained to me why, I never questioned. Had I pushed the limit, I suspect it would have been a few more years before I set foot in another movie theater.

(By the way, the rules are even stricter at a live performance; something I learned when I was 5-years-old and my mother took me to see Annie on Broadway).  

So the other day, I went to a movie in the afternoon. Parental Guidance is rated PG, so the local discount theater was showing it at 1:20 PM. Just because a movie is playing at that hour doesn't automatically mean it's OK for little kids - but apparently, many think that's the case. The theater was full of small children.

Personally, I didn't think the movie was OK for little kids. First, it was way too long. Second, some of the themes in the movie were too difficult for a small child to understand - which would add to the boredom. There wasn't any inappropriate language or scenes, but I'm not convinced that just because a kid can make it through a movie without needing therapy doesn't mean he should.

Most of these kids were, I'd guess, at least 8 years old. Some were a little older, there may have been one or two even a little younger. Definitely all school age. Yet, it wasn't long before I noticed these kids were not really that well-behaved. They talked - a lot. They kicked seats in front of them. They get out of their seats and ran around the theater. They made a lot of noise.

It made me wonder why their parents are not teaching them better - or why aren't they listening. I mean - they're all the age I was when I was taught not to behave this way. So what's the problem?

Then, I started to notice something else....

Adults getting up and climbing over people to leave the theater in the middle of the movie...the woman next to me eating candy from a cellophane wrapper and not even trying to do so quietly...the couple behind me having a conversation.

Apparently, in order to be a good kid, you need to start with a good example. This says a lot about the parents of my favorite kids.

Thanks again, Dad.

How kids affect your holiday

My holiday turned out to be more stressful and depressing than I planned. I mean - it's always a little bit stressful and I always get a little down at some point. There was just a bunch of unexpected stuff happening that sent this one over the edge.

I was feeling like this:

A big, jumbled, confusing pile that made no sense.

Then I got my stuff together, and realized my priorities were all out of whack. I had some people to make smile - important people. Plus I promised myself I could do it without help.

Kids make everything just a little bit better.

It's amazing what you can get done when you get your priorities in line.

Barbie on the farm

Though I never wanted to have children of my own, even I have to admit that sometimes, life is just more fun with kids around.

For instance....

Fat is not an insult

There really isn't anything like a four-year-old telling you, "You're fat." I swear I've never seen her mom's head swivel so fast, or a more angry look on her face. I didn't even have time to be upset, because all I could do was turn to the four-year-old and say, "Ooooo, you're in troublllllle...." Maturity - 1, Sue - 0

There's never a wrong time to teach kids that saying or doing mean things is not acceptable. But you know what I wonder?

Who decided "fat" was a mean thing to say?

No - seriously. I get that she may have thought she was making fun of me, and Mom had to correct her. Kids have to be taught there's a right and wrong time and place to say things, and also that there are some things you just shouldn't point out. This little girl doesn't have a mean bone in her body, and I know she felt bad that she may have hurt my feelings. I'm very sure she learned that lesson.

But if she thought that "fat" was a way to make fun of me - she had to have learned that from somewhere. Who decides which characteristics are negative, and which are positive? More importantly, who is passing on those decisions to the kids? She's observing something that is true. Maybe "fat" isn't the nicest way to phrase it - but I'm definitely not thin. And she's four - it's not like she's learned words like curvy, or plus-sized.

Really, it's not much different than if she says, "Your hair is brown and Mommy's is yellow." It's just an observation - and it's true.

Maybe sometimes, there needs to be a lesson about what words mean, and how much power they have. Maybe the idea is not to just teach kids not to say something - but why they shouldn't say something. Or maybe sometimes, the lesson should be that someone's differences aren't necessarily her flaws.

If the idea is to teach little girls not to insult each other by using the word "fat" - maybe the way to do that is to teach them that "fat" is not an insult.

Can't count that high

Kids say the darndest things....

My favorite 4-year-old: Mommy, how old are you?

Her mommy (my best friend): I don't want to talk about that right now.

4YO: No, I just want to write it down, so I can practice it.

Mommy: I'm 3-7 (three seven). Which is the same age as me...

4YO: Ohhhh - I haven't learned to count that high, yet, have I?

Mommy: Nope.

Isn't she precious? :-/

Believe

Last week, I was talking about how you have to be open to receiving good in your life, before it can show up. That reminded me of something a friend once said to me - something she would tell her kids when they would question if Santa was real.

If you don't believe - you don't receive.

The message isn't all that different from the Pastor's sermon from that week.

Christmas is a time to be joyful, and thankful, and happy. It's a time to recognize the magic that's in our lives, and all the good that we have to celebrate. It's the one time of the year when everyone can look at the world through a child's eyes, and see everything with excitement and happiness.

People may laugh at how much I like Christmas; and I'm sure they chuckle when I tell them I still believe in Santa. But the truth is, whether you're celebrating a renewal of faith, or the one time of year when wishes come true - it's all magic.

Isn't that what Santa is? Magic? Isn't it about believing that good things are possible, and good things come to those who are good? Don't we all deserve at least one day a year to renew our faith - in God, or life, or magic, or happiness - or whatever we need the most? Don't we all deserve to stop for a minute, and just let ourselves hope?

Yes, I believe we do.

No Words Wednesday: Happy

How could I not be?

Third grade lesson

"With third grade comes a new mouth." 

That's what my cousin said to me while she was trying to explain to me that she and her husband are having a little trouble getting their 8-year-old to listen. 

Thing is - this is one awesome 8-year-old. And that's not a compliment I give lightly.

It's important to teach kids boundaries, and respect, and how to handle themselves in public. After all, no one is doing them any favors by letting them think that all adults will think they're as wonderful as their parents (and favorite cousins) do. 

But you can't tell an 8-year-old to do something "just because." Especially not one who is smart and awesome. It's better to demonstrate; even better yet if you can relate it to something that's important to them. 

"If you can remember the last thing I said, you can have a peanut butter cup," Dad said to his son. 

My little cousin paused, considering his father's challenge. His eyes lit up as he said,

You said: You can have a peanut butter cup.

Which was, of course, the last thing Dad said.

We teach kids a lot. But if you're paying attention, every now and then, they'll teach you something even more important.

Thirty Days of Me: Day Nineteen

The Thirty Days of Me project is explained here. The challenge for day nineteen: What are some nicknames you have, and why do you have them?

I hate nicknames. Most of the time, I think they are a sign of disrespect; that someone's name isn't important enough to learn, or remember. A sign that you see them as just a pretty girl or a little boy, rather than an individual man or woman.

But I know a lot of times, the intention behind nicknames is affection. We use them to express familiarity and intimacy.

Technically, "Sue" is a nickname; my full first name is Susan. I reserve that for business dealings, and people who I really don't like that much. When a friend or family member calls me Susan, I expect to be sent to my room immediately.

Other than Sue, a few nicknames have made it past my barrier over the years. They are:

Suse - only my father and my cousin are allowed to call me by this name.

Susie - my grandmother liked this nickname, and many followed her lead. If you knew me before I was 13, I'll let this go, even now. If you haven't known me that long, and address me by Susie - I simply won't answer.

Q - a shortened version of Susie Q, this was a short-lived nickname given to me by a boy on whom I had a huge crush in grade school. That's the only reason I let it go.

Soup - only Chrissy's kids get away with this. Ever.

What are your nicknames?

Thursday Thirteen - Kids and proverbs

Another email....another thirteen worth noting. Some are really funny - especially since they (supposedly) came from first graders. Please note number thirteen. Happy Thursday!!

1 - It's always darkest before....daylight savings time.

2 - No news is....impossible.

c - A bird in the hand....is going to poop on you.

d - Children should be seen and not....spanked or grounded.

5 - Love all, trust....me.

6 - Two's company, three's...,the Musketeers.

g - If you lie down with dogs, you'll....stink in the morning.

h - A penny saved is....not much.

i - Don't bite the hand that....looks dirty.

10 - An idle mind is....the best way to relax.

k - Where there's smoke, there's....pollution.

l - When the blind lead the blind....get out of the way.

...and last but not least -

13 -Better late than....pregnant!