Loopholes

I suck at losing weight. As I said during a twitter conversation earlier this week with a couple of my favorite tweeps, I have a lot of trouble getting over my mindset that food is comfort. I blame boys and their cooties.

I may (eventually) seriously blog about weight loss. For now, though, I thought I'd share with you some of my favorite diet loopholes. Because if you need a corner cut - I'm your girl.

You lose weight when you eat this stuff.

• If you're eating with a friend, and you both eat the same thing, the calories cancel each other out.
• Birthday cake has no calories.
• Taking the birthday cake rule one step further; a lit candle sucks the calories out of any food.*
• From Cute~Ella: Calories eaten on your birthday don't count; on your friends' birthdays only count for half.
• Food wrapped in bacon has no calories.
• From Mike: Alcohol calories don't count against you.
• Cookies eaten in December have no calories.
• Any holiday meal has no calories.
• From kicknknit: Crumbling cookies releases the calories; be careful that calories fall on the ground, and not your feet, to avoid cankles.
• If you lose weight in December, double it (holiday bonus).
• Food received as a gift has no calories.
• From Patrick: Relate your food back to a random conversation to cancel the calories. [Example: "My fantasy team laid an egg" means a huge, egg-centered breakfast will have no calories.]
• Adding fruit to anything makes it a health food (pies, cookies, etc.).
• Also from Patrick: When watching sporting events, if your team is winning, you get a free cookie. If you're team is losing, two free cookies.
• Since it's required that you eat McBreakfast when on a roadtrip, those calories don't count, either.
• From ndkelly29: Leftovers have only half the calories of the original dish. Reduce the number further if you serve the dish cold. [Example: Pizza]

 Have any to add? Leave me a comment!

*Must be used sparingly; avoid getting greedy.