Cinderella Bradshaw

A guy once made fun of me because I was watching Sex and The City - The Movie on a Friday night. We'd met the week before and were chatting online, when he asked if he could call because "he was tired of looking at a computer screen." When he called, he asked what I was doing, and I told him. He said he couldn't believe I'd watch such mindless fluff.

I told him I didn't really believe there was any such thing as "mindless fluff." What's meaningless to you might resonate strongly with me. For example, the first time I saw that movie, I was in the throws of my divorce. I was at my weakest point ever, and some close family and friends took me out - and made me smile. For me, the movie represents the kind of strength that women only get from other women.

He apologized; said though he didn't like the movie, the fact that it had a deeper meaning for me was really "cool." If he was trying to date me, he failed. The only thing I like less than a judgmental jerk is one who can't even own what a jerk he actually is.

I meant what I said to him about the movie. Of course, it's also true that I love shoes and clothes and honestly, when Carrie gives Louise her LV, it's one of the most emotional scenes in movie history for me - ever. I watch the movie all the time - so you can imagine my surprise the other day when I picked up on a theme I'd never noticed before.

Spoiler Alert: Hopefully, if you haven't seen this movie, it's because you don't care to. That being the case, this won't matter. But on the off-chance that you really want to see the movie and just haven't, I'm about to give away the ending.

Remember when Louise calls Carrie to remind her that the closing on "heaven on Fifth" is that evening? Carrie says she doesn't need to go and Louise reminds her of the "never worn, $500 shoes." Love and money come and go - but Manolos are forever! Carrie races over to the apartment where she finds Big in the walk-in. They basically start their happily-ever-after right there on the plush carpet.

"It wasn't logic - it was love..." she says. No, it wasn't either. It. Was. Shoes. Carrie's deep, emotional (almost spiritual, really) relationship with her shoes is was brought her to that apartment - the main reason she and Big found each other, and their love, all over again. Cinderella, anyone? 

It's not a glass slipper - but it is fit for a Princess.

To further the fairy tale theme, when Big finally proposes the right way, what does he do to "seal the deal?" He ever-so-gently places one of the magnificent shoes on her foot - just like the prince did with the glass slipper.

We know I'm not huge into fairy tales. I think the idea that a woman has to wait for a guy to decide she's worthy; come find, and usually rescue, her; and turn her into a Princess, well....it sucks. But that's not Carrie's story at all.

She was always worthy; and she knew it. When she needed help, she turned to her friends - never Big, or any other guy. After he botched wedding number one, Carrie's friends were the ones who rushed to her side and helped her pick up the pieces. They brought her back to life.

When she found Big, it wasn't because she was pining away, searching for him. It was because she wanted her shoes. She was already a princess - she made him a prince.

Now there's your fairy tale.

No Words Wednesday: Happy Birthday?

We ate Elmo....

Then we beat Cookie....

.....Just what kind of party was this, anyway?!? 

Weak link

Self esteem is an elusive concept in my life. I've never really had any. If I believed all that I've read, it would be easy to find someone or something to blame. But to me, that's a waste. Understand for the sake of improving - yes. Blame - no.

At one point, I thought I had it under control. A well-dressed, well-mannered woman has confidence, right? And if you have confidence, you must have self-esteem. So I did all that; hair, nails, clothes, accessories, job, brains, etc. I checked items off a list, and one by one, I figured I'd established some solid self-esteem.

Then, not that long ago, I discovered my weak link.

You can be as confident, beautiful, talented, rich or successful as you want. At the end of the day, if you're doing any of it for others, you're not building your self esteem. It makes sense if you think about it - when you do something for someone else, there's no "self" included. That's the missing piece.

As soon as that set in, the whole concept really started to fall into place for me. I realized my whole life was affected by what others thought - not just my own self opinion. I was making every decision based on what I thought others would prefer; how to dress, where to shop, how to spend my time, what to do with my life - all of it was about pleasing someone else, making someone else happy or making someone else's life more comfortable or easier.

It took a huge leap of faith, and several small panic attacks - but I have started to overcome that feeling. I still stumble now and then - I remember something nasty that someone said, or I let someone else's opinion about me become more important than my own. I let my family make me feel guilty, or a friend make me doubt how good a friend I really am.

But my stumbles are fewer and further between. My recoveries are faster and stronger than ever.

Just tonight, I got a notification that I'd been tagged in a picture on facebook. My initial reaction was panic - I needed to jump online and delete the tag before anyone saw the picture. I managed to calm that feeling, and give myself a chance to take a look. I reminded myself to look past the face and see the person who I know I'm becoming.

For the first time, in a very long time - I didn't cringe when I looked at myself.

Emergency!

So, I'm in Sephora the other day, shopping for some happy. I came across this item in one of the bins near the check-out counter. A Ms. & Mrs. Minimergency Kit: A purse-sized collection of all the the things a woman might need while out on the town. What's in it? Let's have a look, shall we?

• Blistex
• Dental Floss
• Breath Mint
• Nail File
• Clear Nail Polish
• Polish Remover Pad
• Hair Spray
• Clear Elastics
• Earring Backs
• Stain Remover Towelette
• Double-Sided Tape
• Mending Kit
• Deodorant Towelette
• Bandage
• Tampon
• Advil

Off the top of my head, I can think of one thing that's missing. (Oh, stop - you know you were thinking that...) Personally, I'd also want some of these and these, too. And perfume. 

What's in your minimergency kit?

Follow Friday Fun - ShoeTease

We all know I like shoes. A lot. Okay - a whole lot.

Through the magic of twitter, I stumbled upon a blog called ShoeTease. On the about page, the author describes herself as a designer and illustrator, having escaped the corporate world to become a freelance design consultant. Doesn't that sound like a fun job?! She also says that while she believes in being open-minded about fashion and style, Uggs and leggings worn as pants cross her line of tolerance.

In my book, that alone is reason enough to follow her.

But if that's not enough for you, let me tell you what ShoeTease does. The blog is about...well, shoes. But not just a designer, wear this-with-that point of view (though I like those). She posts pictures of some of the most outrageous, enjoyable shoes I've seen.

Of course, if you like to see what-to-wear - you'll find that at ShoeTease as well. Just look here and here to get an idea.

Would I wear all of them? No. Would I be able to walk in all of them? Er....not even close. But I enjoy looking at them. Plus, there are giveaways - I love me some blog giveaways.

You can check ShoeTease out here, like it on facebook and follow on twitter. And remember....

"Shoe love is true love!"

Thursday Thirteen - NY Women's Expo

This weekend, I went to the NY Women's Expo, which was held at Siena College. The weekend-long event was a collection of vendors and seminars, geared towards women. Shopping ranged from jewelry to onsite spa treatments - to windows and patio furniture.

I did not buy any windows.

My favorite purchase.

I did buy some fun jewelry and accessories, because that's what I do. I attended seminars on haircare myths and realities, and how to transition your makeup from day to night. I paid $8 to hear the tips and tricks; you're getting a few of them for free. You're welcome.

*********************************

• When going from day makeup to night, you need to use a nude, or neutral blush. The point of the blush is really just to give your face some contour; for nighttime makeup, the emphasis should be on your eyes...
• ...and lips. In the words of the consultant from Jean Paul Spa - you can't have too much gloss at night.
• I've always been told that your hair grows faster in the summer; rinsing under cold water helps reduce frizz; and that hair can become "immune" to shampoo benefits over time. The truth is....
• ...there's no "immunity" - but there is a potential for build-up that prevents the shampoo from being as effective. You don't need to change shampoos often, just use a clarifying shampoo now and then.
• ...hair does tend to grow faster in the summer - only because we are more active in the summer, and therefore our metabolism speeds up.
• ...It's true that scalding hot water will frizz your hair - it dries your hair the same way it dries your skin. Stick to warm water and you'll be fine. You don't need to freeze.
• If you're looking for spa treatments, but can't break the bank, check out Mirror Images Clinic. The spa & salon is staffed with ready-to-graduate students from Austin School of Spa Technology. They need clients; you need services. It's a win-win.
• Placing a light colored shadow just below your brow-line will lighten and emphasize your eyes. 
• Women like pink tools.

Visit Tomboy Tools for info.

• Makeup should move from matte colors in the day to shimmer for a night out. Jean Paul Spa sells a finishing powder that includes a light, silvery shimmer. I will tell you - it was fabulous.
• Remember this post, where we talked about why you don't need a man. Pure Romance is a company that can help you there. Check them out. They didn't offer me any deals (or tips, thankyouverymuch). They're getting a mention here only because I loved how their booth was set up so tastefully that moms didn't mind stopping, even with their daughters.
• Dandruff is a medical condition; dry scalp is different. Often people use dandruff shampoo, which is medicated, when all they really need is a good moisturizing shampoo.
• Shaving does not actually make hair grow back thicker and darker. As hair grows back, the root, which is always thicker, is more visible; giving the appearance of darker, thicker hair. If it were to grow all the way back, it would have the same texture as always.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I paid the $10 admission minus a $2 coupon I downloaded from their website. I wasn't given anything for free other than the same samples handed out to everyone. The tips I'm sharing were a part of the seminars included with my admission. Products/services I paid for myself.)

No Words Wednesday: Winter

All winter, this is exactly how I've felt.
Like the weight of the weather was keeping me down.

Tag along

I was at the NY Women's Expo on Sunday (more on that later). There were women of all ages; some in groups, others solo; moms and daughters together. It was a cool vibe.

Except....

I noticed a few couples. Yeah - women brought their husbands/boyfriends to the show. Now - don't get me wrong; I'm not judging. If it floats your boat, I say rock on. If these guys wanted to be there, well...fine. But that didn't seem to be true. Case in point - I saw one guy grab the arm of the woman he came with and say, in a panicked voice, "No! You can't leave me alone!"

Really the only
reason to bring him...

There might be some good reasons to make this a couples day. Maybe that's the only time you can spend together and you really wanted to go to the expo. Maybe you were there to check out some of the larger vendors (like patio furniture or home services) and wanted your partner to be there, too.

But, speaking as a a former we-have-to-do-everything-together kinda girl - I know better. Even if you convinced him (and maybe even yourself) that was the case - it wasn't. The expo was three days long. Those big purchases can be researched online, in the store, or at garden and home shows. The two of you don't need to buy your patio set next to the woman having her eyebrows waxed, across from the pure romance booth.

The truth is - you wanted to go, but you always do stuff together, so you talked him into tagging along. It's okay - we've all done it. Want to know something else? I bet, if you really think about it - you were miserable. And who wouldn't be? You're there to laugh, have fun and relax - and you've got Mr. Mopey lagging behind, or hanging all over you so he feels better about his masculinity.

Can I tell you something, though? You got what you asked for - because you act the same way every time he says, "Oh, just run into Lowe's with me real quick..." Yeah right.

Here's a suggestion. The next time it comes up - leave him home. Let him do his thing; you go do yours. You'll both be happier, and you won't have to spend an hour in the car, arguing over whether or not he should have let you try on that makeup, or if you spent too much money at the spa booth.

Yeah - you know you did.

Pet names

I really like the show Criminal Minds, though it's scary as all get-out and creeps me out on the regular. I still watch it - mostly because of Derek Morgan - the ultra hot SSA, played by Shemar Moore.

Hey, Sugar Shack.
See? I can't do it.

My second-favorite character is Penelope Garcia, the spunky, cute tech goddess that they all rely on to do the actual work. Last week, I caught an episode where Penelope calls Morgan by the nickname "Sugar Shack" - and it made me giggle.

I think some people can pull off the whole nickname, or even pet name, thing with good friends or with their significant other. I really can't. I never could. I have girlfriends who call everyone "honey" or "sweetie" but if I try to do it - I sound silly, and phony.

Im also not crazy about being called by nicknames. I've accepted a few over the years from family; people who knew me when I was a little kid; and my friends' kids.

I never liked being called "honey" or "hun" or anything by a significant other - not even when I was married. The pet name I hate the most? "Babe" - I hate it. Especially if it's coming from a guy I barely know. It makes me think that he can't remember my name.

So, I just prefer to be called Sue. Ms. Rock, if you're nasty.

Though, Shemar should feel free to call me anything he'd like....

....and of course, so should he.

Follow Friday Fun: Ambiance Florals

Disclaimer: If you don't like shameless plugs, you should stop reading.

A few months back I was completely depressed and could barely get out of bed. I needed my family and friends to rally around me a little and give me some support. At the same time (literally the same weekend) my cousin became the sole owner of her business and was in dire need of her family and friends to rally around her and help support her business.

It's funny how life works out sometimes.

I know a little bit about flowers; how to grow them and even how to arrange them. I know very little about design. But I do know something about marketing and sales. I know a touch about social media - certainly more than my cousin.

The thing was - she needed to find ways to grow her business, without spending a lot of money. She also needed help changing up her website. In no way, shape or form an expert, I said, "sure, I can help," and - BAM! I had a new part time job.

As the new Social Media Coordinator for Ambiance Florals & Events, I started a twitter page, recently started a facebook page - and am now authoring the blog on their newly redesigned website (thanks to tonyk).

The blog is just starting out - you'll read about events, promotions, weddings and see photos of classes, designs and whatever else might come up. It should be fun - join us, won't you?

SN: If you don't like shameless plugs, you might be confused about what a blog actually is. But anyway....

Beauty sleep

A while back, I decided to make some changes in my life. Things were not going as well as I'd hoped, and I felt like I was spinning my wheels, focused on the wrong things.

I refocused on myself - and changed a few habits.

One of those habits was my night-time routine. By routine, I of course mean me hanging out at home, on the internet and maybe watching Friends or something from Netflix. There's nothing wrong with hanging out at home, and there are certainly many productive things I can do on the interwebz. But I found that by 10-11, I wasn't being productive - at all. I was just surfing around, wasting time - and causing trouble.

It was also interfering with my sleep. That's bad because a) sleep is very important for your health, 2) sleep is very important in keeping your skin looking good, and c) I am not a morning person to begin with, and I don't need lack-of-sleep working against me.

So, one change that I made was forcing myself to close the laptop and turn off the TV (if it was on) and head to bed earlier. If I wasn't tired, no worries - I have bunches of books downloaded on my Nook (thanks, Santa) so I catch up on my reading. After a couple of weeks I found that I was waking up earlier and easier, my eyes hurt less in the evening and I was caught up on more "stuff" at home. I also realized some of my internet habits were creating more headache than they're worth, and now I have fewer of those particular headaches..

Conclusion? Articles like this hold some water. Also, I should not be allowed to use the internet after 10 without supervision, anyway. I cause too much trouble.

No Words Wednesday: I'm the guest

As you might know - I write a few blogs. Sometimes, coming up with the right words is tough. Other times, the words come easy, but finding a place to put them is not.

A couple of friends/fellow bloggers are helping me out with that today. 

I didn't want to write about me cooking here, for fear the earth would fall right off its axis. So, I wrote about it over on Cute~Ella. Check it out here.

I had something a little more serious to talk about, and Chin Musik was looking for guest bloggers.  Read what I had to say here. 

If you don't already read those blogs - I definitely suggest you do. Their words are always awesome.

Fairy tales come true?

"Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale of all." Hans Christian Anderson

I posted this on facebook the other day, simply because I like the quote. A friend commented, "Yeah, and I'm the princess trapped in the tower waiting for her prince to rescue her, but he's too stupid to figure out how."

Her comment got me thinking about how fairy tales really have given us a skewed view of happily ever after. I mean, even stories that center around a strong female still teach us that she needs to find her prince before she can find true happiness.

Come on, already.

Why are little girls taught that, no matter what, they won't be truly happy until they find a guy? It's like that scene in Sex and the City (The Movie) where Carrie is reading Cinderella to Charlotte's daughter Lily, and she says, "You know this is just a fantasy, right? I just think you should know it doesn't always turn out this way." Lily asks Carrie to read the story again, and Carrie says, "And another one bites the dust."

Please understand, I'm all for happily ever after - and I think it's a beautiful thing when two people find each other and fall in love. I just don't think little girls should be taught that finding a prince equals happiness. I also don't think a little girl should feel she has to wait for a prince to find her, or that she has to be worthy of the prince.

I told my friend that I thought we could write her a better fairy tale. One where she escapes from the tower herself, finds her prince, and then makes him pass a series of tests to prove that he's worthy of her.

So where's that fairy tale? I'm lookin' at you, Disney.

Getting healthy might just be the death of me

I'm still working on this fitness thing. I only went to the gym twice the first week of March. I got inspired in the second week and made it three four times. Four times a week was my goal; so far, I'm on track for this week.

I'll admit - I like the feeling after a workout. I will also admit that I am considering cutting back on sweets and popcorn at the movies. Considering is all I'll promise right now. I have also learned a few things. My observations thus far:

• Going to the gym is hard for me in the winter; I do not like leaving the house when there's snow and ice everywhere.
• I am more likely to go to the gym after work if I bring my clothes and change before I leave the office; on the other hand...
• I don't like changing at the office and the gym is ridiculously busy at that hour - so much so, that once I actually had to leave and come back because I couldn't find parking.
• I do not like people who don't wipe down the machine after they leave it; even if they only use it for a minute; in a related story...
• I think those guys who do a circuit of machines like they're in their own private gym are jerks.
• I do not understand people who go to the gym to flirt.
• I do not like the flowers that Planet Fitness has in their women's locker room.
• I think it's ironic that people will drive all over a parking lot to get a closer space so they don't have to walk - when they're there to exercise in the first place.

I still remain convinced that getting healthy might just be the death of me. But, I figure if that happens, I've proven you all wrong - so I'm looking at this as a win/win.

Any pet peeves about the gym? How are you doing on your fitness goals? Other goals? Do you like butter on your movie popcorn (kidding - sort of)?

Follow Friday Fun - Mushroom Printing

If you blog, you may have run into a situation where you had something to say - but you couldn't share it publicly. Or maybe you had a story you wanted to share, but it didn't quite fit with the message of your blog.

I've had this happen. One way around the problem is guest-posting - write a post and hand it off to one of your fellow bloggers to use when they're on vacation, swamped elsewhere, or have a case of the lazies.

But if your story is something that you want to say, and you think others might appreciate - especially if it's about a person/event/group/thing that deserves a slap - why not give them a Mushroom Print? Not sure what that is? Well, let me tell you. Actually - let them tell you. Straight from their About page:

There are a hell of a lot of things in the world that are annoying. Fleas, poo-eating dogs, the guy who wrote the “Dollop of Daisy” commercial, and people who drive UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane.

Because we’re not all insane, we can’t exactly go around vigilante-style and inform the assholes of the world that they are, in fact, assholes. So what’s The Internet to do?

I’m glad you asked, Printers, because that’s where Mushroom Printing comes in. Here’s where we can give a hearty smack down to the people who deserve it. This is a group blog where we can share all of the things that bug us.

What’s a Mushroom Print, Aunt Becky? I hear many of you ask through the computer. Or I pretend I do because that is how Your Aunt Becky rolls.

It’s simple, Printers: a Mushroom Print is a very crude term for smacking someone in the face, in our case, deservedly, with a certain member of the human body, usually found on a male.

In short, a Mushroom Print is a dick-slap.

Let’s be clear, this isn’t a hate blog. Posts will be moderated and edited and deleted if they’ve been determined to be full of The Hate.

Now, are you ready to lay the smack down?

I'm telling you - it's easy, and so, so worth it. Visit their site, get a login and - bam! You're a printer. You login to their wordpress site, write your post and submit. Pretty soon, the world is hearing what you're saying - and people are agreeing with you. Yes - because there is always going to be someone on the interwebz who finds the same things annoying. I promise.

You can also follow them on twitter - and keep up with what everyone else thinks is annoying, too.

Thursday thirteen: Question and Answer

Cute~Ella thought it would be fun to send me these questions...there are thirteen, so I figured I'd answer them as a Thursday Thirteen post. Bonus: I may use one or more tonight.

a,) When you were 5 what did you want to be when you grew up? At exactly age 5 I wanted to be Wonder Woman.

b.) What was the coolest gift you've ever received? Honestly - my Derek Jeter jersey.

3.) Where is the coolest place you've had sex?  Most risky? - Work (on my lunch)

d.) If money was no object, what would the one place you'd like to see the most? Who would you take with you? A tour of all Major League baseball stadiums. I have no idea who I'd take - maybe my dad?

5.) Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? Roll your tongue? No, I can't; yes, I can.

6.) Do you believe that global warming is real? Is it caused by lack of Pirates? I do believe in global warming, but to blame it on pirates is silly. Everyone knows it's the aliens' fault.

7.) Do you like kids? Want them some day? Yes; undecided (I'm sort of running the clock down on this, so I think fate will decide for me).

8.) If you could have any super power, what would you want to have? I'd want to be able to read people's minds and see the future. What would your superhero costume look like? Black pants with really cute boots (which can have a heel since my power is cerebral and won't require much running around). Some sort of killer top (in red or purple) to show off my fabulous abs and cleavage (listen - if I can have a superpower, I can have that, too!). My power would be in my accessories (natch).

9.) Blue pens? Black Pens? or Pencils? Black pens


10.) If your SO told you he/she wanted to make out with someone of the same sex, would you be ok with it? Or would you consider it cheating on you? Making out is cheating, regardless of the motives (I think).

k.) What's your favorite icecream flavor? Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

l.) Do you steal the covers? Nope

13.) Would you get offended if one of your SO's friends was in crisis and he/she had to change plans with you to help? No

No Words Wednesday: New shoes

Cute, no? But I need outfit suggestions before I part with the cash.
Aaaaaaaannnnd - GO!!

What's the rule?

"It's okay to cancel plans with friends if there's a possibility for sex." Joey Tribbiani, Friends (The One with All the Cheesecakes)

Phoebe and Joey have dinner plans; Joey cancels because he has a date. Joey says that's acceptable; the rule is, it's okay to cancel plans with friends for a date. The guys agree with Joey; Monica and Rachel agree with Phoebe. That's a terrible way to treat a friend; that boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever.

I'll always be there for you.
Unless there's a possibility for sex...

I admit, I used to be one of those women whose life revolved around my relationships. My life is way different now, and I'm not that person anymore. But I know plenty of people who drop everything - friends, family, work, hobbies - when a new relationship comes around. When I tell them it's a mistake, they ask, "What do you know? Who are you to be giving that advice?"

I tell them, I'm the girl who lost everything and had to start over. See, that's the risk you take when you make someone the center of your life; if they're ever gone, your whole world changes. Starting over is never easy; doing so without any friends or foundation is even harder. Believe me - I've been there.

Most of the time, I don't think people even realize they're being that person. It's natural for things to change when there's a new relationship, so I think most of us just write off those changes as normal. But if your friends are telling you to look out, don't assume they're jealous, or angry or feel abandoned. Take a step back and look at your behavior. They might be right.

Have you ever been in that position? Know anyone who has? What did you do, or tell him/her to do?

Say my name

I got a text from X the other night. His name was recognized by someone while he was out and about - because of me blogging over here. He laughed...and I told him I made him famous!

Anyway, it got me thinking about how, after a couple of years apart, and nearly a full year of being officially divorced, I still haven't changed my name. People often ask if I will, and I'll admit, way-back-when, I was upset enough with X that I was determined to do it as soon as the ink was dry on our divorce papers.

As I became less angry, and we became better friends - it became less urgent. Then I started blogging, which put my name "out there" a little more - and, honestly, my married name is way cooler than my maiden name (sorry, dad). Also, if you've ever changed your name, you know there's a crap-ton of paperwork involved - and I hate paperwork.

I still have no immediate plans to change my name. This works in my favor because I'd like to start carving a name out for myself, professionally (more on that another time). Now, like I said - my married name is way cooler. It's also easier to spell, say and remember - way more marketable. [SN - I really wanted to get married before I graduated college. Even after having been provided a flash card with a diagram and proper phoenetic spelling of my name, it was misprounounced - by a person with a Phd in English, no less.]

Also - X has no family of his own. My family was always his family, and this way, someone shares his name. Which I think is kind of nice - because, he's been a better friend to me (especially in the last few months) than most people ever find. I'm happy and proud to still consider him family, so changing my name is the least of my worries.

Here's the thing....

I would change my name if either of us got remarried. First of all - it would probably be kind of mean to my new husband if I kept my exes last name, and didn't take his. If X got remarried, it seems a bit disrespectful to the new Mrs. X for me to be running around town with her last name.

So - should I anticipate that and change now? Or deal with that bridge full of paperwork if/when the time comes?

Follow Friday Fun - Chin Musik

In the fall of 1992, I was a freshman at The College of Saint Rose. [stop that math] I was convinced I was going to become a world famous journalist whose work would be ground-breaking and world-changing. I had a spot all picked out for my Pulitzer.

I wrestled my shyness to the ground and got up the nerve to approach the editor of the student paper and ask about writing an article. I was encourage by the words of my high school journalism teacher - and the fact that the editor played baseball with a guy I knew from work, who was like my big brother and looked out for me. [and yes, I dropped his name....]

The editor gave me a couple of soft-news stories. Then he asked me to write a story about a female student who was mugged on her way to her car after a night class. I interviewed security, other students, faculty and the police. The one interview I could not get? The student. Even after some...creative methods of getting her home phone number from the registrar, I couldn't get a hold of her for a comment.

My story didn't run.

I was pissed. It was a good story (I thought). It gave the facts on what happened, it told what the college was doing to prevent future incidents and it gave the students' perspective.

But I learned a few things. I learned that, in life, you have to be willing to go after what you want - and not stop until you get it. I learned that being shy is not helpful in any business. I learned that criticism is valuable, especially when it's intelligent and constructive. I learned that I'm not always right, and getting upset won't help my argument. I learned that, no matter what I wanted, there were certain things I couldn't wouldn't do to get a story.

Amazing. Tens of thousands of dollars were spent for my education - and the most valuable lesson came for free, from someone who wasn't even a professor. [sorry, dad]

Through the magic of twitter, a few months back I found that editor. He's a writer, and a blogger - and a Yankee fan. He's also a cool, funny guy with uncommon style. He expresses his views in a smart, relatable way that's fun to read. You might even learn something; I have.

He still has a lot to say, and he's still worth a listen. His changing the face of his blog, too - so now is a great time to "find" him. Check out his blog, follow him on twitter, like him on facebook - and tell him I sent you.

Thursday thirteen: Chick flicks

I'm stealing borrowing this feature again. I'm a movie fan buff geek. Though I prefer science fiction, fantasy and comic book movies - I also appreciate a good romantic comedy. Here are my top choices for flicks every chick should see - and why.

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The Wizard of Oz - It's important to believe in your dreams. Plus, it's the ultimate chick flick - two women fighting to the death over a pair of shoes.

The Princess Bride - One of the most quotable movies ever. It's also a fabulous fairy-tale love story, and Cary Elwes is adorable in tights. Plus, Billy Crystal.

When Harry Met Sally - One of the most romantic movies ever made. It's proof that friendship, and love, really do conquer all, and it teaches us that everything really does happen for a reason. Plus, Billy Crystal.

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days - I was a much bigger Kate Hudson fan before she dated him. Still - she had the sense to let him loose, so I guess that's something. This is just a fun, light-hearted movie that shows all ladies how silly we look when we do those things we do. Plus, shirtless Matthew McConaughey.

Fever Pitch - Baseball = Love - 'nuff said. It's also a powerful lesson that not everything is perfect - 'cause, you know, that other team wins the World Series at the end of the movie.

A League of Their Own - Girl-power and baseball. What more do you need?

Sex and the City - The Movie - I was not a fan of the sequel, but the first movie made me fall in love with the franchise. It's all about strong women, love in every form, and how no matter where you go, it's your friends that make your world.

The Women - Think SATC, but more mature, less sex. Same message.

Steel Magnolias - Same as The Women. That funeral scene always makes me cry. Plus, Julia Roberts - and Dolly Parton.

Pretty Woman - The classic story of Cinderella, told with a modern twist. She's not an object; she's a beautiful, strong, smart, funny woman who deserves love and respect. Plus, Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

He's Just not that Into You - He might not be; and your friends might not be telling you. This movie will show you how and why, and make you laugh while doing so. Plus, Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck.

Say Anything - My gosh, love should be like that. Plus, John Cusack.

Jersey Girl - It's an adorable story about how important a dad really is to a little girl. Plus, it's the only Kevin Smith movie that I can reasonably fit on this list.


What are yours? 

No Words Wednesday: More vacation

I stayed in Maryland...but visited Washington, DC. It was my first time.

The White House - with my favorite future POTUS....

International Spy Museum

And amazing memorials....

Weight a minute

I am not a fan of diets. I am not good at them - mostly because I have no patience. So, when I don't get results right away - I give up. Not to mention, they focus way too much on losing weight, and not nearly enough on getting healthy.

I once lost a lot of weight - in a very unhealthy way. I cut almost all fat out of my diet, and very strictly watched my calories every day. At the same time, I started working out several times of day. I managed to lose a lot of weight - but never improved my health at all. Not to mention - I gained the weight back the minute my work and school schedule changed and I could no longer stick to the work-out schedule.

That said, I know I need to do something. So, I've decided I'm not setting a weight-loss goal. Which works out, since last year I "accidentally" got my scale wet while washing my tub, so I can't weigh myself anyway. But I am going to set a fitness goal.

My current goal? Total beginner. I'm challenging myself to go to the gym a minimum of 4 times a week - and, you know, actually exercise while I'm there. That will be my fitness challenge for March.

I'm putting it here, so that you can all feel free to keep me honest.

Crap.