I used to be the type of gal who was motivated by other people's opinions. My decisions were largely based on what others thought was best, and what they thought of me.
I, apparently, am starting to get over that hang up. I must have happened when I became undeniably single and was forced to really look myself in the mirror, figure out what I liked and what I didn't, and started making changes. Suddenly - there weren't opinions other than my own - and that became my new motivation.
This, I have found, is a good news/bad news story.
Of course, it's very healthy to live for yourself, on your own terms, and not worry what others think. But I was really hoping that by blogging about my fitness goals, I would find motivation to actually go to the darn gym. I thought if I added a level of accountability, by having to "face" you guys, I'd do it.
Not so. Apparently, my strive for self-esteem has started to work, and I'm actually happy with myself. Go figure. So while that's good news, it turns out, I'm not influenced by fear of judgment, ridicule or criticism. I need a different motivator to get me to the gym.
However, as luck would have it, I have found one: Annoyance.
Annoyed with my job. Annoyed with finances. Annoyed with family drama. Annoyed with men. That would normally make me want to hide under the covers with a pound of dark chocolate.
Not this time. This time, I decided I'd try something new. They say exercise can fight off depression - and since I knew that a string of oh-so-bad crap in life can bring on a bought for me, I thought I'd fight fire with fire this time.
So I did. And - I can't even believe I'm writing this - it's actually working. Who knew?
I will still eat movie popcorn. I still need to flip the ratio on my water/diet soda intake. I will always like chocolate, and cheese and bread. But I have discovered a few healthy eating tips, and managed to incorporate those into my diet. I have definitely stepped up the exercise in a way that's manageable and beneficial for me.
Will I lose weight? I have no idea. Remember, the scale is broken - and that's not the goal, anyway. Will I get healthier?
I think I already am.