Two bloggers I adore had recent posts about women acting crazy, or like "that girl." Of course you, being the discerning blog reader that you are, have probably already read them. What's that? You haven't?! Well - get to it! It's okay, I'll wait right here 'til you're done.
Back already? What did you think?
I'm not one to judge. I have had moments of pure crazy in my life (not my proudest moments). Nowadays, I like to think that Crazy-Sue has evolved. She's grown. She's matured.
It takes a lot of energy to be that crazy. First, there's the mental energy - you have to get angry, then you have to think up the plan - then you have to get angry enough to put the plan into action. Never mind the physical energy - driving to someone's house in the middle of the night, staying up late chatting online, digging the big hole in the ground....
I'm just saying that if anything, or anyone, deserves that much of your energy - it's you. When you focus on proving yourself to someone else, or getting revenge, or proving someone wrong - it's all about that other person. None of that is about you.
I know some people argue that love makes you do crazy things. That it makes people go out on a limb, and if you're willing to take those risks for someone, that must be real love. Puh-lease - I've used that argument to rationalize my own
crazy spontaneous behavior. "I just wanted to show how much I cared," or "I just had to make you understand, no matter the cost," can be loosely translated to "I needed to do anything to make this all about you so that I could avoid focusing on myself and my own issues."
Not one of us is perfect. It's okay feel loss, and hurt, and even anger. It's okay to make mistakes, too. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes - that you figure yourself out and make changes for the better. The really good people - the ones who deserve your energy - are those that bring out the best in you. They won't bring out your crazy.
Well - not your bad crazy, anyway. ;)