Tuesday, July 5, 2011

If you're going to send a picture...

...of your penis to a woman you met on a dating site, here are a few things you should do:
  • Make sure she does not author a blog (or two) where she might be willing to post the picture - alongside your user name.
  • Make sure you are tougher than (or can at least out run) the man she has on reserve to attack men boys like you. Related...
  • ....Make sure she does not subscribe to an internet service that allows her to find you using the contact info you so foolishly gave up.
  • Make sure she does not have ample access to the single women in your community. If she does, she can (and will) tarnish your dating pool (if you haven't already).
  • Make sure she doesn't have the resources available to otherwise make your life a living hell.
Most importantly?
  • Make sure your "subject" is impressive enough that you want it displayed. It takes a boy of very small character to attack a woman this way. No point in proving how small you are everywhere else, too.
Or, you could always look for a woman who might actually be interested in some random guy's goods. I hear there's plenty out there.


  1. Why on earth would you send a chick a picture of your penis? When you can send some other dude's penis? Paging Lexington Steele. Your Set is ready. Lexington Steele, your set is ready.

  2. Dunno. Want me to give you the guy's phone number? You could ask him directly. ;)

  3. Did this guy learn nothing from Andrew Weiner?

  4. Apparently, to keep the photo limited to a phone, and not the whole internet.