Tuesday, July 5, 2011

If you're going to send a picture...

...of your penis to a woman you met on a dating site, here are a few things you should do:
  • Make sure she does not author a blog (or two) where she might be willing to post the picture - alongside your user name.
  • Make sure you are tougher than (or can at least out run) the man she has on reserve to attack men boys like you. Related...
  • ....Make sure she does not subscribe to an internet service that allows her to find you using the contact info you so foolishly gave up.
  • Make sure she does not have ample access to the single women in your community. If she does, she can (and will) tarnish your dating pool (if you haven't already).
  • Make sure she doesn't have the resources available to otherwise make your life a living hell.
Most importantly?
  • Make sure your "subject" is impressive enough that you want it displayed. It takes a boy of very small character to attack a woman this way. No point in proving how small you are everywhere else, too.
Or, you could always look for a woman who might actually be interested in some random guy's goods. I hear there's plenty out there.

4 comments:

  1. Why on earth would you send a chick a picture of your penis? When you can send some other dude's penis? Paging Lexington Steele. Your Set is ready. Lexington Steele, your set is ready.

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  2. Dunno. Want me to give you the guy's phone number? You could ask him directly. ;)

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  3. Did this guy learn nothing from Andrew Weiner?

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  4. Apparently, to keep the photo limited to a phone, and not the whole internet.

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