Thursday, May 12, 2011

Thursday Thirteen - Letters

Another Thursday - another email. This one was a collection of short, funny letters that could should have been written at some point. I picked my favorites.



Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore

Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely, Jenny

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream.... What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified


Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

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