Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Nobody likes a bully

I have a lot of a few several more than one pet peeve. I try to be a fairly understanding and empathetic person, and recognize that not everyone looks at everything the same way. So, when people are doing something that irks me, I try very, very hard not to take it personally.

But seriously....

If you start a sentence with the phrase, "Do you remember....," no matter what you say after that, I'm going to answer your question. Either yes, I do remember or no, I do not.

I really feel like our conversation should be over at that point. If you don't agree, and you want to finish telling me the story, I'm certainly happy to listen - or, you know, nod and smile.

But listening, nodding and smiling will all stop the minute you utter the phrase, "Yes, you do."

Are you actually trying to convince me that there's a memory in my head that I'm not aware of, but you are? Let's just say for the sake of argument that were true... then what difference does it make if I remember, anyway? I obviously have zero credibility.

I realize sometimes people really want something to be true, and sometimes someone else's validation is the only confirmation they can find. And the truth is - I often have a terrible memory. (Unless you've seriously pissed me off; that I won't forget.)

So your story might be true, and I just don't remember - and I'm really, really sorry. That brings me back to the understanding and empathy I mentioned. Now I'm willing to listen, and try and help you piece things together. At this point, I'm probably totally on your side, because I feel like I've let you down - and because there's no reason for me not to believe you.

But, if you try to convince me that I do remember something when I've clearly stated I don't, or something must be true because you remember - now you're a bully. Not only do I not like bullies - I don't usually believe them, and I certainly don't go out of my way to help them.

Does this ever happen to you? People try so hard to convince you (or themselves, I suppose) of anything that they come on too strong?

1 comment:

  1. Jerks! Here's the thing, I typically do remember most things (even after several drinks) so I'm likely going to remember what someone is asking about. Sometimes I ask other people and give a few details to try and jog their memory, but then I just tell the story.

    If someone is coming on too strong I change the topic or mentally check out.