Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Shallow Waters

Face it: I'm basically a pretty normal gal. I buy my clothes at the mall (or the outlets). I like shoes and purses (and I like them to match, thank you). I get my hair and nails done on a regular schedule. I listen to Top 40 music, follow celebrity gossip and watch the occasional reality television.

I'm told (less often now, but yes, it still happens) that these qualities make me shallow: spoiled, self-centered, uninformed with a total lack of intelligence. It got really bad when I started filling out online dating profiles and would only speak to guys who where educated, of a certain age, who made a certain amount and who posted a photo. This really made me shallow because look - here I was judging a person based solely on their looks and their money!!   

Really, though, if you look at things closely - we're all shallow. In our own way, of course. 

To some, the way people dress and how thin or pretty they are is what's most important. Or maybe it's a person's wealth - the car they drive, or where they live. 

To others, the most important thing might be a person's religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or race. Then there are those who judge others based on a disability, or education. 

Other people judge based on lifestyle choices: Does a person recycle? Drive a fuel-efficient vehicle? Eat meat or wear fur? Excercise regularly?

Shallow means of little depth or superficial. So - I must be shallow because I only look at someone's surface before I pass judgment, right?

But wait - if someone judges me based on how I like to dress or the music I listen to - isn't that person shallow as well? He's only looked at my surface. He doesn't really know me.

He has no idea what my reasons behind my online profile were. He also has no idea why matching my purse to my shoes means so much to me, or why all the pre-programmed radio stations in my car are Top 40. I bet he has no idea why I get my nails done.

I stopped worrying about being "shallow" a long time ago. I decided it's okay to like the way I dress, the way I speak, my hobbies, my's okay to like me. I stopped worrying about what others were thinking or saying about me, and started paying attention to what they were saying to me. I decided it mattered more how they feel, what they general where they were coming from. 

I will always like to shop, and I will always pay attention to celebrity gossip. I will probably never learn to cook, and I will probably never solve world peace.  

But I won't ever really be shallow because I know myself and I take the time to get to know others. Even if they don't always want to share.

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