Saturday, October 16, 2010

Where I'm Supposed to Be

I started this blog during the happiest time in my life - which was born out of the saddest. I've always wanted the message to be hopeful. Everything happens for a reason and you're right where you're supposed to be. It will make sense; you will learn, and sometimes lessons are painful, but you will grow. Eventually, you will be happy.

Lately, I haven't really been feeling that way. I've been a little sad and lonely. Between you and me (and anyone you share this with because we both know you're the only one reading) I've also been a little worried those feelings meant I wasn't as strong as I thought. I've been thinking maybe I hadn't really learned all the lessons I've been talking about. I was feeling a little hypocritical.   *hangs head in shame*

Then I remembered a conversation I had with a good friend not too long ago. He told me that self-improvement is a "life-long process." It's not learning everything all at once; it's learning something new every day. 

So, the other day, I started an argument. Well, no, that's not right - I continued a conversation that really needed to be over, nearly creating an argument. My problem was, I didn't understand something, so I kept asking questions, over-thinking the situation and pushing the issue. 

I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought my questions were fair, and I thought I was being polite and nice when I brought it up. I thought I was going with my gut, and standing up for myself.  

It turns out - I was only partly right. A really small part. I had the right to ask the questions, but I should have gotten them all out of the way in the first place. Instead, I dragged the issue on and on, and ended up putting someone in the unfair position of having to explain themselves over and over again. That wasn't cool. 

I need to remember to stay away from an issue until I've thought it all the way through. I need to be more careful when I present questions and concerns, so that I get everything out in the open the first time around.  Most of all - I need to learn when to let things go. 

What does all this mean? Well, I'm still sad - but at least I'm also learning lessons, improving what I've learned, and growing from my experiences.

Maybe I am right where I'm supposed to be, this is all happening for a reason.

No comments:

Post a Comment