Friday, June 11, 2010

The (E)X Factor

Relationships can be rewarding and fulfilling. It's wonderful to find someone you can trust and laugh with. Someone who will be there.

So, it makes sense that breakups bite.

I'm not talking about the being single part; that's something you get used to. It's a change, and change can be difficult. But you work through it, and eventually, you move on.

I'm talking about the decision to, and the actual, break up. Depending on the situation, a lot might get {thrown, yelled} said. Maybe you don't mean all of it; maybe you do. Either way - it's out there, and you can't take it back.

But can you forgive? Do you even want to?

In general, people seem to agree that your ex is your ex for a reason; if you could still get along, you'd probably still be in a relationship. [One exception: If there are children involved; then you're friendly for their sake, but nothing more.]

I don't think it's that clear cut. People come into our lives for a reason. Some are meant to stay for a certain amount of time; others, forever. So, what do you do if the person you're breaking up with is meant to be around forever - just not in a romantic way?

You start by forgiving; first him, then yourself. It's part of moving on. If you're meant to be friends, you will be. Maybe you won't be best friends, or each other's first call anymore. Or maybe you will.

Whatever happens, the point is to let the relationship evolve on its own, and not try to make it fit a mold that someone else thinks is "right."

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