Monday, March 16, 2015

My with yous

I like to think I am a good friend, with whom it is easy to get along. I do my best to be there for the people closest to me. I'll even be helpful to people not close to me, if I can. I rarely argue, mostly because most things are just not worth the effort. I'm pretty laid back, in that I don't really care what time we meet, what movie we see, who drives, where we eat, etc. Actually, I don't care about much. *shrug*

But on the rare occasion something does matter to me, I know I can become difficult. I over-think, over-analyze, and I worry - a lot. If I get disappointed, I get sad and maybe even a little down on myself. It never lasts long, and to be honest, it's improved. But it's definitely in those times when I know for sure who really cares for me.

This past weekend, my church wrapped up its series on relationships. The message was about how we are not created to go through life alone. At first I was like, "Really? This week?!" But then it improved. Pastor Mike Mills told us throughout life, we will meet three kinds of people.

For yous are people who encourage us to be our best, and stick around in good times. They celebrate victories, but are generally not there to support us through our trials.

Use yous are those people who are only around to support their own agenda.

With yous, though... with yous are the people worth having around. They are the people who will pick you up when you fall, and carry you until you can walk on your own. They cheer when you're happy, and cry when you're hurt. They want the best for you, and support your choices, even if they don't always agree.

When I am my normal agreeable, accommodating self, it's tough to tell the for yous from the with yous. When I'm doing for others, even the use yous get mixed in.

But when I'm broken and defeated and disappointed, and struggling to pull myself up again... that's when my with yous stand out.

I'm not at all sure what I did to deserve such amazing people in my life... but I'm sure glad I have them.


  1. You are a wonderful friend. You are one of five that I can talk to about anything. Like you, I wonder what I did to deserve a friend like you. Then I stop wondering & just be grateful to God for the amazing people I have in my life.

  2. This is a great post - and gives me a lot to think about. Recently, I found out one of my closest friends was not a "With You" but actually a "Use You".

    In my world I call this person a drainer. And she was so could at hiding her draining abilities - that I never noticed. I did a couple weeks ago. And I just cut the chord. I'm pleasant to her; I've never been one to be rude. But, she knows something is up - and now out of nowhere she is all talkative, and trying to make plans. Trying to include me in things, where she wouldn't before... Needs me to help her..... Wants to be involved on my end. And, before, I would have jumped at the chance to spend time with her - now, I tell her I'll get back to her, I'll let her know. Will I help her? Probably... I'm also not the one to leave a friend in need. But, I won't clear my schedule to do so, it now has to be what's convenient to me, as well.

    You are truly blessed to have great people around you.

    1. ACK Autocorrect - please see correction -

      And if she WASN'T SO GOOD at hiding....

    2. I'm so sorry to hear what you're dealing with. Stinks when we learn someone really isn't the friend we thought. :(

  3. You're the best kind of friend. :) Puffy Pink Heart you.

    I'm terribly thankful that Twitter was created so we could meet and be friends.

    1. Thank goodness for Twitter. I puffy pink heart you, too. I'm awfully grateful to have you.