Monday, May 13, 2013

A wish for single friends

I'm just like anyone else (well, I mean, mostly). I believe relationships are a good thing, and a part of a happy life. The right relationship, anyway. I'm happily single, but I wouldn't mind finding a good, solid, healthy, happy relationship.

But until I do, I'm not going to just resign from being happy. There seems to be this popular opinion that everything in life is better when it's shared with a significant other.

Honestly, I resent the idea that I am somehow less of a person because I'm not one-half of a couple. I actually think that makes me more of a takes a lot more strength to choose to stand on your own than it does to lean on the first person who comes along.

Besides, why does "someone to share things with" have to mean a significant other? If you have good friends and family, then you're never alone. Some of the best times of my life have been spent with friends - and not a date.

At a festival with no date -
and the flowers were still pretty.
But even when all my friends are busy, or when I just want to be alone - I'm not less happy. I still enjoy nice weather, good food, live music, movies, ballgames, parties - whatever I want. I can have the same fun that couples can (and often for half the cost). I don't even have to argue with anyone about what time we should get there, what time we should leave - or if we should even go at all.

I understand wanting a relationship - I'd like one myself. But people should want a relationship so that it can add to their happiness - not bring them happiness. Everyone sometimes feels lonely, and like something is missing. But you shouldn't always feel that way.

If you do, I wish I could wish it away. I would wish, instead, that you find peace and hope and happiness. I wish you find beauty in life and a million reasons to smile. If that means you need to find someone, then fine - that's my wish for you.

But how wonderful would it be if you could find all of that by yourself? There's truly nothing more empowering than realizing you can stand on your own - and also finding that, thanks to wonderful friends, you won't always have to.

As long as you enjoy your own company, you're never really alone.


  1. I agree with everything you wrote here! Well-said.

  2. I agree with you 100%! I have always believed you must be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. I also agree that learning to be happy with how your life is now and not constantly painting a picture of what you "wish" it would be is the way to go. I have amazing friends and family that I love to spend my time with. I also enjoy going to the movies, shopping and vacationing alone. One of my best vacations ever was a solo trip to Bar Harbor. I called it my Eat, Pray, Love weekend. I parked my car, settled in at a b&b on the water, read, crocheted, walked the town, took pictures, ate, shopped, went to the spa for 4 hours one day, took a yoga class... It was empowering and relaxing and just flat out amazing! It's makes me laugh at how many crazy looks I get from others when I tell them I took a solo vacation. I do think it is sad when people put their lives on hold just because they don't have a significant other to do things with. Kudos Sue!!!

  3. This is spot on. You know I'm one who is perfectly fine alone. I don't need a man. I don't like when I hear women say that. I can want a relationship but I'm ok with me. I believe that a relationship will never work until you are happy with yourself alone. If you're reliant on someone else, then that will never make a healthy relationship.