Bridezillas

Got a bit of a wedding theme going on this week....yes, that's just a coincidence.

While I generally prefer crime dramas when I watch TV (except for Big Bang Theory, which is just the best show ever), I'm not opposed to the occasional, reality TV train-wreck. Sometimes, the bigger the wreckage, the better.

If you agree, then Bridezillas is a show you simply must check out.

The WE original follows two brides per show in the days leading up to their wedding, showcasing all the ways in which a wedding ceremony can turn a (seemingly) normal woman into a fire-breathing monster from the planet She's Insane - otherwise known as a bridezilla.

No job is too big, expense is too high, or request is too outrageous - for everyone else. Their freak-outs are embarrassing at best, and bordering on painful. They behave like spoiled brats, throwing temper tantrums if anyone doesn't jump at their every order. One bride brought her bridesmaid to a tanning salon and yelled at her, and the technician, when the color didn't come out the way she wanted.

So why do I watch? These women are so ridiculous it's entertaining. Also, it is hard to look away - like a train wreck.

Not to mention, they are so horribly behaved, they make me look like an angel.


 

Marital advice...from me?

Baking Suit and Frank got married had a picnic with a judge this weekend. Master of Ceremonies GenWar (I definitely recommend you click that link, but maybe you don't click it at work) asked several of us if we would like to participate in the "drunk toast." As he explains, when people have a celebration of any sort, he feels that at least one friend should rise to the challenge of delivering a toast to the happy occasion in a less-than-sober state.

"I don't drink," I protested.

"That's fine. I'll take care of the drunk part," he responded.

Uneasy about the idea, I asked, "What would I say?"

His response? "Well I don't know, but at your birthday party I got to hang out with your ex-husband while he cooked, so I'm assuming you must be doing something right."

After a moment of reflection, I thought, "Somehow, I don't think this is the place or time to offer advice on how to remain friends with an ex spouse."

This exchange lasted for a few minutes, culminating with GenWar stealing my sparkly purple sunglasses and leaving me with his straw hat. I totally chickened out on the speech, because giving happy marital advice to a newly, happily un-married couple at their non-wedding wasn't something I felt I could do on the fly.

But, having had a pretty successful marriage for 9 years (we were married for 10, but that last year really wasn't very good), and having remained friends with said ex-spouse, I figure GenWar might be right (don't tell him I said that). I might have something of value to offer. So, having had a couple days to think it over, this is what I've come up with:

- Stay true to yourselves. Yes, you will both grow and change, and that's OK. Life would be boring if we always stayed the same. You fell in love with each other for who you really are. Stay true to those feelings, and true to who you are - the rest will always work itself out.

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- Don't sweat the small stuff. Most of it is small. You're both ridiculously smart, so you'll know the big stuff when it comes. Tackle it head-on, as a team, and you'll be fine.

- Focus on each other. Yeah - family, friends, work, obligations...they're all important. Don't give them up. But at the end of the day, you and you are what matters most. Don't let anyone or anything come between you.

- Be honest. If you're doing something you feel you need to hide from the other person - you need to stop. Immediately.

- Don't discount each other's stuff. No matter how insignificant the other's collection may seem, if it's important to one of you, it should be important to both of you. The same goes for feelings.

- Don't give up what matters to you outside the marriage. Yes, I know, this is a little contrary to the point about focusing on each other, but it's a big part of staying true to yourselves. It's a balancing act. You'll screw it up once or twice, but keep trying and you'll get it right.

- Don't share a bathroom. Trust me - nothing good can come from this.

- Never forget to remember how much better your lives are because they've come together.

When all else fails - find separate corners until you can play nice.

Who, me?

I puffy-pink heart Baking Suit for many, many reasons. Her love of shoes, her sunny way of looking at life, her WTF feature, and the fact that she always brings me baked goods are just a few of my favorite things about this fabulous lady.

One of her favorite bloggers gave her an award....which she has passed on to me. I'm not sure why - but I certainly appreciate the thought!

As a recipient, I agree to:

1. Thank the blogger who gave it to me, and share a link back to her awarding blog. {Done}
2. Name five fabulous moments in my life.
3. Name five things that I love.
4. Name five things that I hate.
5. Pass the award on to five deserving bloggers.

Here we go....

Five Fabulous Moments
* Signing paperwork to purchase my house on my own
* Buying my own car (without a husband or a dad cosigning)
* Hosting a rather successful fundraiser
* Earning my CPCU Designation.
* The moment I realized I had an awful lot to live for, and I could do this on my own.

Five Things I Love (Like Baking Suit, my list does not include family, friends, or kitties, which are all givens)
* Chocolate
* Derek Jeter
* Sushi
* Shemar Moore
* Shopping

Five Things I Hate
* Ignorance
* Cooked Carrots
* Animal Cruelty
* Bigotry or discrimination of any kind
* Spelling and grammatical errors

Five Deserving Bloggers (To whom I'm passing on this award)
* Amanda
* DerryX
* Angela
* Stephanie
* Girl's Got Shine
(I spend a lot of time at timesunion.com/blogs when I should be working!)

20 Most annoying Facebook friends

Yesterday, I posted a link to this story from Mashable on my Facebook page. Several people liked the post. But one asked the question,

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If not for these posts, what would we use facebook for?

Fair enough. Posts about kids, marketing, political posts, song lyrics, and private conversations make up the majority of my facebook feed. Thing is, I don't think these things are necessarily all bad. I mean, no one wants to see four posts a day where you quote 15 lines of some poem that only you understand. But the occasional, funny one-liner from a song or movie? That's fine.

If you're proud of your job, or your child, or you feel strongly about a cause or a business or a political point of view - share. That's all a part of who you are...and your friends (presumably) are interested in you. They'll want to see these messages - it's just not all they want to see.

Mix it up. Don't sync your Twitter to your Facebook; the audience is different. Your Facebook community does not want to see every little mundane detail. They want to see the big stuff - interesting articles, the occasional funny picture or quote, vacation pictures.

But please, please skip the vaguebooking, the vanity shots, and the urban legends/chain letters. It makes you look foolish, desperate, and a little gullible.

And the shared profile? No. Just....no.

Barbie on the farm

Though I never wanted to have children of my own, even I have to admit that sometimes, life is just more fun with kids around.

For instance....

Hello, my name is...

"Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be." Sex and the City

In the car yesterday afternoon, I was thinking about how surprised people seem to be when they learn that Rock is a) my real last name (people often think it's made up) and b) my married last name - and I'm not married anymore.

I was trying to decide if I should write about the decision, and the apparent and unexpected fall-out, and the my friend Baking Suit posted this last week.. This is apparently a case of great minds thinking alike - and thus, this post was born.

I graduated college in 1996, engaged but not yet married. My last name was Ginett. Gi pronouned like give, nett prounounced like net. Prior to the commencement ceremony, graduates were asked to hand in an index card with our name written as we would like it pronounced as we walked across the stage. I wrote my name out; then I provided a phonetic spelling; then I provided examples of the correct pronunciation. My index card was given to an English professor with a PhD.

Who misprounounced my last name as I was handed my diploma.

I could not wait to get married and get rid of that last name. I love my family, and they are largely responsible for who I am as a person. But I wanted to be a Rock. Two years later, I would be.

Anyone who says that marriage doesn't change who you are has either never been married, or is living in a perpetual state of denial. I don't care how self-aware you are, if you lived together first, or what - being married changes you. Even just a teeny bit.

Since I married young, that was even more true for me. I hadn't even come into my own when I walked down the aisle, so I did a whole lotta changing in the ten years that followed.

Unfortunately, I learned that there was one thing that could change me more than marriage: Divorce. Four years later, I am most definitely not the same person I was when I got married, or even when the marriage started to end. But I am also not the same person who so happily marched down to the Social Security Office in July 1998 to begin the process of changing from a Ginett to a Rock.

So who the hell am I? Should I still be Sue Rock? Or go back to being Sue Ginett?

There was a time when I planned to change my name as soon as the ink was dry on my divorce papers. Of course that was also when I was angry with X, and dragging furniture to the end of the driveway on my own in a fit of...well....rage. Anger makes people do stupid things. I didn't need that bookcase, but I am very glad I didn't make any more lasting decisions while in that state of mind.

After things calmed down, and X and I started to develop a friendship, I saw things differently. Here are the factors that ultimately influenced my decision to keep my married name:

* Paperwork - I freaking hate it. Though it isn't terribly complicatd to legally change your name, getting it changed on bills, accounts, and even important documents (like the other diploma I received in 2008) is just a lot of work that I really don't want.

* Professional Branding - I'd already started blogging, networking, and other work, under this name. Changing it seemed like more of a hassle. Not to mention - Rock is just a cooler name than Ginett. Sorry, Dad - but it's true.

* Personal Branding - Most of my closest friends know me as Sue Rock (with a few exceptions). They'd probably keep referring to me that way, even if my name did change. So what's the point?

* Family Ties - X doesn't have a lot of family. My family loved him as though he was their own, and he loved them too. I can't speak for him, but I still consider X a part of my family (and I know my family feels the same). I feel like it's nice for him to have at least one other Rock around.

The bottom line is this: I came into who I am as a person with the last name Rock. It more closely identifies with who I am today, and I like the name. It's mine; I earned it, and I'm keeping it. So there.

Now, are there any circumstances under which I'd consider changing my name? I can think of only two:

Sue Jeter - has a nice ring, dontcha think?

* If X got remarried - Out of respect for the new Mrs. Rock, I might change my name, if it mattered to either of them. I doubt that it would (I'm not a Mrs., I'm a Ms., so she'd still be the only Mrs. X Rock around). But I'd be gracious enough to at least consider the change.

* If I got remarried - If I knew then what I know now, I'd never have changed my name in the first place - but I can't unring that bell. Still, I'd understand if my imaginary-future-husband (or as I like to call him, Derek) was uncomfortable with the idea that his wife's name was given to her by her ex-husband.

In that case, would I change my name to his, or just go back to my maiden name? I'm not sure. But I do know if I ever do this again, it will be the last time.

Anything to keep the paperwork to a minimum.

Movie Monday: Dark Knight Rises

Armed with my free movie reward coupon from the Regal Crown Club, I went to see Dark Knight Rises this weekend. I don't have too much to say about the movie itself, but thought I'd share a few random thoughts and observations....

Uh huh.

~ I'd heard from fans of the comic books that the movie was terrible, while action-movie fans thought it was awesome. I found it to be neither. I'd describe it as unimpressive and predictable, but with enough action to keep me awake for nearly 3 hours.

~ Speaking of which... no movie needs to be that long.

~ I'm not convinced Anne Hathaway (or her legs) is human. 

~ I'd marry Christian Bale right now if he asked me. I'd also marry Joseph Gordon-Levitt, if it wasn't for the fact that he's too young for me.

~ My ability to care for children has been questioned, many, many times. Yet, even I know you don't take a 4-year-old to a PG-13 movie that starts at 8:20 PM, is nearly three long, has a lot of explosions and scary guys, and then tell her to "shut up" when she starts to cry. 

~ How on Earth is there any person in the US who has not heard about what happened when this movie was screened in Auroroa, CO? I don't know the answer, but that one guy walked into the theater right in front of me. 

~ Since that incident, local movie theaters have started searching purses, making it increasingly difficult to sneak outside soda and snacks.

~ I don't understand how movie magic can create crowds from one person, make it look like a man can fly or scale buildings, create life-like monsters, and do it all in 3D - but couldn't use a voice-over so I could understand what the actor playing Bane was saying. I know he has an accent and was speaking through that funky mask - but c'mon.

~ People love superheros because they give us hope. Batman shows us that with the right amount of inspiration, determination, and hope - anyone can be a hero. The real strength superheros give us isn't by being there to save; it's by acting as a symbol of hope, and inspiring us to save ourselves.

~ It's unspeakable that anyone would try to tarnish a franchise like Batman by associating it with senseless violence and loss. The only thing worse would be to let him.