Put away your white

I posted this on facebook yesterday, to a mixed reaction.

And by mixed, I mean I say no, and five friends said yes. The sixth friend said he prefers reflective silver year-round. I suspect he was making a joke.

Back to my answer....I don't wear white after Labor Day. But let me be clear - the rule, as it was taught to me, is nothing below the waist after Labor Day. So a crisp white shirt? Fine, though in colder months I'm more likely to layer that under a sweater anyway.

White shoes? I'm not likely to wear purely white shoes any time of the year. I do put my shoes with white in them in winter retirement until Memorial Day.

White pants? You'd have to shoot me with a tranquilizer dart to get me in a pair, anyway, but if I wore them - they would also be resting now.

No white shoes means no white purses because, well, it won't look right.

That is such an old-fashioned rule. People still stick to that?

A lot of things are old-fashioned. Doesn't necessarily make them wrong. The idea of a bride wearing white at her wedding is certainly old-fashioned, and people still pay thousands to do so. How about eating with the proper utensils? That's old-fashioned - but (most civilized) people still do.

I was taught the no-white rule by my grandmother (Nanny). You may say, well see, it's a dated tradition - and that's fine. If you want to wear white after Labor Day, have at it. I don't need the guilt and judgment from the hereafter, nor do I think a pair of white polka-dotted wedges is worth worrying about what will happen should I run into Nanny in heaven.

Besides - if an idea stands the test of time, and still makes sense, is it old-fashioned? Or is really just classic? I wouldn't wear velvet or wool or tweed in the summer, either. Is that idea old-fashioned - or is it just practical?

Stacy and Clinton tell me it's OK to wear white any time of year.

By all accounts I could find, this is true. There are entire posts about how to rock white all year round.

I choose not to, because it's how I was taught. Nanny also taught me to say please, write thank you notes, be a gracious house-guest, how to set a proper table, and do dishes. I suppose some people also consider those ideas to be old-fashioned as well.

Each generation is different, and everyone should think for herself. Nanny taught me an awful lot that I don't follow, and believe me when I say I've done a lot of things that would not have made her proud. But some of what she taught just makes sense....

So I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.

Bridezillas

Got a bit of a wedding theme going on this week....yes, that's just a coincidence.

While I generally prefer crime dramas when I watch TV (except for Big Bang Theory, which is just the best show ever), I'm not opposed to the occasional, reality TV train-wreck. Sometimes, the bigger the wreckage, the better.

If you agree, then Bridezillas is a show you simply must check out.

The WE original follows two brides per show in the days leading up to their wedding, showcasing all the ways in which a wedding ceremony can turn a (seemingly) normal woman into a fire-breathing monster from the planet She's Insane - otherwise known as a bridezilla.

No job is too big, expense is too high, or request is too outrageous - for everyone else. Their freak-outs are embarrassing at best, and bordering on painful. They behave like spoiled brats, throwing temper tantrums if anyone doesn't jump at their every order. One bride brought her bridesmaid to a tanning salon and yelled at her, and the technician, when the color didn't come out the way she wanted.

So why do I watch? These women are so ridiculous it's entertaining. Also, it is hard to look away - like a train wreck.

Not to mention, they are so horribly behaved, they make me look like an angel.


 

Marital advice...from me?

Baking Suit and Frank got married had a picnic with a judge this weekend. Master of Ceremonies GenWar (I definitely recommend you click that link, but maybe you don't click it at work) asked several of us if we would like to participate in the "drunk toast." As he explains, when people have a celebration of any sort, he feels that at least one friend should rise to the challenge of delivering a toast to the happy occasion in a less-than-sober state.

"I don't drink," I protested.

"That's fine. I'll take care of the drunk part," he responded.

Uneasy about the idea, I asked, "What would I say?"

His response? "Well I don't know, but at your birthday party I got to hang out with your ex-husband while he cooked, so I'm assuming you must be doing something right."

After a moment of reflection, I thought, "Somehow, I don't think this is the place or time to offer advice on how to remain friends with an ex spouse."

This exchange lasted for a few minutes, culminating with GenWar stealing my sparkly purple sunglasses and leaving me with his straw hat. I totally chickened out on the speech, because giving happy marital advice to a newly, happily un-married couple at their non-wedding wasn't something I felt I could do on the fly.

But, having had a pretty successful marriage for 9 years (we were married for 10, but that last year really wasn't very good), and having remained friends with said ex-spouse, I figure GenWar might be right (don't tell him I said that). I might have something of value to offer. So, having had a couple days to think it over, this is what I've come up with:

- Stay true to yourselves. Yes, you will both grow and change, and that's OK. Life would be boring if we always stayed the same. You fell in love with each other for who you really are. Stay true to those feelings, and true to who you are - the rest will always work itself out.

Source

- Don't sweat the small stuff. Most of it is small. You're both ridiculously smart, so you'll know the big stuff when it comes. Tackle it head-on, as a team, and you'll be fine.

- Focus on each other. Yeah - family, friends, work, obligations...they're all important. Don't give them up. But at the end of the day, you and you are what matters most. Don't let anyone or anything come between you.

- Be honest. If you're doing something you feel you need to hide from the other person - you need to stop. Immediately.

- Don't discount each other's stuff. No matter how insignificant the other's collection may seem, if it's important to one of you, it should be important to both of you. The same goes for feelings.

- Don't give up what matters to you outside the marriage. Yes, I know, this is a little contrary to the point about focusing on each other, but it's a big part of staying true to yourselves. It's a balancing act. You'll screw it up once or twice, but keep trying and you'll get it right.

- Don't share a bathroom. Trust me - nothing good can come from this.

- Never forget to remember how much better your lives are because they've come together.

When all else fails - find separate corners until you can play nice.