Sunday, December 30, 2018

So long 2018

I keep seeing posts where friends remember 2018 - some fondly, some not so much - and the big changes that happened during the year.

So it got me thinking... what are my big memories from 2018? Any big changes, lessons, memories?

I started the year with a FL vacation. Not really new - that was our third trip to FL for spring training - though we visited some new places. On that trip, I learned I really don't like touristy destinations and don't care if I ever again see Orlando or another set of mouse ears.

Somewhere in the middle of the year, I really started to feel the impact of my anxiety. I have really tried to improve its management, having come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never be able to make it disappear. That continues to be a struggle. 

I've also battled some major depression. I am still fighting that every single day. I'm a little sad to be going into 2019, well, sad, but I know I can get through and will be OK. Some days I deal with it in really positive ways - going for a walk, writing, etc. Other days I lose myself in a Netflix or YouTube hole and I need to learn that is OK, too. 

At the end of the summer, we took a trip to Gettysburg. I have to say - it's an amazing place, full of history and lessons and, I thought, a lot of sadness. I would encourage anyone to visit, and wish more people would try learning our country's history from perspectives other than white-washed history books.

Towards the end of the year I started a new job. Very exciting change! The biggest change was positive for my life - the fact that I do this job entirely from home. Earning a little more and the improved chance for retirement didn't hurt, either. Mostly, it's nice to do a job I enjoy while maintaining my sanity and sense of self-worth, both of which were seriously compromised before.

I am not sure what 2019 holds... I expect there will be challenges, and probably some really low lows, but hopefully mixed in with some very high highs. My main goal is to try and take it all in stride, and find the lessons along the way.

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