The truth about my life

One of the best things about Baking Suit is the roughly 8,452 blogs she follows. She finds the best of the internet, and sends it to my inbox. Which is how I came across this post over at A Life Less Bullshit.

The truth is a tricky little thing. It should be simple... but we spend so much time avoiding, denying, or straight-up changing the truth, it becomes kinda hard to recognize.
Eventually, the truth catches up to you, usually at the most unexpected (and least convenient) time. At some point, though, you have to face it - and though that can be a scary thing, it truly is liberating.

When Baking Suit sent me the link, she asked, "What truth would you tell?" I've thought about it...and thought about it...and then thought some more.

The truth is... I am not always happy in my life. Overall I'm happy, every single day. I can always find something to be happy about - and no matter what, I always, always look. But sometimes, it's hard to find a smile.

Lately, money has been my biggest worry. I can blame my financial woes on the economy, or divorce, or taxes - but the truth is, I like to shop. I use it as a distraction from reality and worries and responsibility.

But here's the rub... If money is the worry, shopping is maybe not the best way to manage.

That can lead to more more depression...which, for me, leads to poor eating habits. Sure, my gender, age, and a couple of health issues make weight-loss a challenge.

But the real truth is... I'm an emotional eater. When I'm depressed (as I have been recently), I eat to make myself feel better. Is that a healthy way to approach food? No. Do I know that needs to change. Yes. But it is an added challenge to the whole weight-loss thing. Add that to the fact that I find exercise boring and time-wasting, uncomfortable, and occasionally painful) and the truth is, losing weight is hard.

I know I need to change my truth. First I need to fix the whole money issue, and figure out a way to distract and entertain myself that doesn't involve spending irresponsibly. I need to figure out a way to fix the depression, and that will hopefully be the first step in fixing the eating habits.

I know that won't be easy - but I also know that admitting the truth is necessary, before I can ever hope to make a change. I'm hopeful this is a good start.

At the very least, maybe my truth will help someone else realize she's not the only one who drowns her sorrows in chocolate - or in the shoe department.