Help yourself

I think it's important for people to understand that depression is really an illness. The one thing I can do to help others understand is to be open about my own struggles - so I am.

After I re-read that post, I got to thinking...I don't want it to sound like an excuse. Just because a person suffers from depression, she's not off the hook when it comes to protecting her own health. I mean, if you have high blood pressure, you don't add salt to your soup, ya know? People with depression have to take care of themselves, too.

Having gone from being worried and/or depressed all the time, to a relatively even mood on the medication, I've become hyper-aware when I'm extra sad or worried. I know, without a doubt, when something isn't right with my feelings or mood or behavior.

How do I handle that? Many ways. If it's really bad, an adjustment to medication might be in order. I prefer to stay away from that if I can. Actually - I've avoided it altogether, and have never adjusted the dosage.

I prefer to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with myself, to figure out what is causing the spike in worry or sadness. Did something happen? Am I hormonal? Can I fix it by eating a little better that week, or exercising more? Maybe I need to make sure to take a break during my workday. Or maybe I need a day off altogether.

What about counseling? I swear, everyone needs counseling. Those that think they don't are usually the ones who need it the most. It never hurts to have someone help you reframe the worry, and suggest ways to cope.

Talk to your friends. They care (if they don't - get new friends). Lean on them. Ask for help and support. You would if you had the flu; this is no different.

Keep a journal. If you're tracking how you feel and when you feel that way, it might be easier to figure out the trigger. You'll have a much better chance of fixing the problem if you understand its cause.

Accept that not everything is in your control. Whether it's God, or the cosmos, or the tooth fairy that you belive in, find a way to be OK with the fact that there are some things you just can't fix - and it does you no good to worry. Concentrate on the things you can control. You won't ever be able to fix how another person feels about you, or the economy's effect on your job, or who in your family is affected by cancer. But you absolutely can control how you react to any of those things.

Listen - I'm no expert. I'm just a 30-something who has been through some things, and gotten to know myself better in the process. These are things that I've done, that have worked for me at different times in my life. I don't think anyone should be embarrassed to ask for help. I also think everyone should be willing to help themselves.

I was. And I'm grateful every day.

Helpful links:

Helpguide.org 
Dailystrength.org
Webmd.com

Fly like an eagle

I think most people assumed I would have stopped going to church by now. I know everyone assumed I would have stopped after the last couple of weeks.

But I haven't. I like church. I also like its message - even if I don't always agree with what they say or how they say it.

This weekend, our Pastor started  a new series called Guardian. It's about "protecting what's most important." Being Mother's Day weekend, he spoke about how moms (all parents, really) are charged with not only protecting their children, but preparing them to become adults, and eventually parents. 

He read a passage from the Bible (don't ask me which; I can't ever remember, and I don't take notes because I'm too busy listening) about how a mother eagle prepares her nest, protects her babies, and then shakes things up so they learn to fly (I'm obviously paraphrasing). 

Pastor Buddy says that's the Bible's way of directing parents to do the same - protect children, but also teach them how to fly on their own. 

I'm not a parent, and it's not very likely that will ever change, so the message about how to protect my kids was sort of lost on me. But since the whole thing was in the context of the Bible and God's word, it did get me thinking....

If we're all children of God, and He loves us, and is trying to teach us - is it possible that when life hands us an obstacle, that's really God's way of stirring the nest, and forcing us to fly? Are tough times really just His way of teaching us something new, and making sure we're prepared for what's next? 

That's sort of comforting, in a way. Yes, bad stuff is gonna happen; but we already know that's the case. It is nice to think that the bad stuff isn't really a punishment, or because we don't deserve better. It's comforting to think that maybe it's just there to prepare us for something even better. 

And that something better might be just around the corner. All we have to do is learn to fly.

Depression hurts

No, this is not a post about Cymbalta.

People don't like to talk about depression as a disease. They talk about it as a "mental health issue" - something from which a person suffers, just like she might suffer from low self-esteem.

Sometimes it is. Situational depression is a "response to a specific set of external conditions or circumstances." Someone dies; you get depressed. You lose your job; you get depressed. The thing about that sort of depression is you can point to something and say, there's the cause; and you know it's temporary.

But clinical depression is different. It's a constant state of despair, with no real cause - and no end in sight.

It sucks.

But people don't see it as an illness. Many think people who suffer from depression are weak. "If you need a pill to get through the day, don't bother..." is the attitude most people have. "Just get some exercise or take a vitamin; you'll feel better."

No, I won't.

It's a health problem, just like anything else. You take a medication for a thyroid condition, or allergies, or high blood pressure; I take one for depression. Actually, if you want to get technical, I take a low-dosage medication that treats both depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Living in a constant state of worry is tough - and doesn't do a darn thing to help with depression.

I take medication because my body (and brain) can't get me to the "normal" level most others can get to naturally. Does that mean I'm never sad, or worried? Of course not. It just means that without the medication, I see everything as cause for worry and sadness. With the medication, I'm as "normal" as the next person.

Stuff can still make me sad - and if it's really bad, my mind might not know where the sadness should end. I'm just now starting to come out of a terrible period of both depression and anxiety, that was definitely situational.

To be perfectly honest, it was scary as hell. Thankfully, I have friends who supported me. I keep telling them thank you and they say, "Oh, it's nothing; that's just what friends do."

That may be. But I hate to think what might have happened if I hadn't had my friends - or my medication - during the last couple of weeks.

So the next time someone tells you she's depressed, don't shrug it off, or suggest she just get herself to GNC. It might be a bigger deal than you realize.